Batter Fried Bacon

First new phone post

2011-09-11T09:43:00.001-04:00

I went and got the fanciest phone around and thought I'd try some blogging with it.this looks pretty easy, so this thing might be on again.

I tried

2010-06-12T16:26:00.003-04:00

The World Cup is huge. I get it. I love sports. I really tried to watch today. I kept an open mind. I had a team to root for. It all doesn't matter, because soccer is boring as hell! Yeah, I know, it's an American cliche to discount soccer as boring as fuck, but it's so damned true. I've never really considered myself as a typical American, but I guess maybe I am more so than I would like to think. Maybe I should start drinking more Bud and hating foreigners to top it off. Anyways, I'm done with the World Cup.

Happy Birthday DrX!

2010-06-09T21:23:00.002-04:00

In honor of DrX's birthday, I am restarting the blog! I hope I haven't lost all of the readers by now, with all the long periods of absence and false starts. If you have given up hope, you are dead to me! I don't need you! Fucking bastards! Anyways, how about that DrX? He's a pretty cool guy and he's a year older and closer to death. I guess he's not that old, I've dated older women, so I can't talk, I guess. I have found that since I turned 30 it's hard to make fun of people's age when they are also in their 30s. I guess I'll have to wait a few years to again be able to heckle DrX mercilessly about being old. Where am I going with this, you might ask. My answer to that is: mind your own business fuckwad! I can rant if I want! That's what this blog will once again become. Pointless rantings from me to you. Enjoy! And happy b'day, bro!

Another painting!

2010-05-30T13:01:00.004-04:00

Well, I officially got back into painting again. Maybe soon I'll actually get back into blogging...

My most current painting is a present to my lovely niece who, I feel, needs a healthy dose of Real American Patriotism! She is being raised in a house by two liberal East Coast elitists, after all... I call this painting: Fuck You Eastern Hemisphere!

A new painting

2010-05-03T20:17:00.005-04:00

For being so patient, I reward you with a painting! I call it "Hollywood Remake"

Another note: I have disabled anonymous commenting because we have been getting a ton of spam in previous posts. Sorry if this is a pain!

fooled ya!

2010-02-05T09:01:00.002-05:00

So, when I said that I was going to be posting again, I actually meant that I'll rarely be posting. That's what it seems like, anyways, but I will try to do better. I finally got around to ditching all of the other contributors on this blog, except for the original two (me and DrX). Sorry folks, but y'all have also gone almost a year without posting anything. This makes you useless to me! You were suppose to provide filler while I was busy! I forgive you all though.

If any of you have been paying attention, spammers have seemed to taken over the comments a bit. Fight back! The spammers may take up our comment space and annoy us, but they'll never take... OUR FREEEEEEEEDOM! That is for the government to do.

What to look for in the future: Since I have a completely uninteresting life, I require certain shticks to post regularly. In the past these have included Mummy Hitler and a talking Panda of some sort (not a very fleshed out character). There will probably be more of this unless suddenly my real life becomes interesting (don't count on it). If anyone wants to see more of something we've done in the past, let me know.

Ok, so this has been another update blog post that has accomplished nothing! Yay!

Bracket Buster!!

2010-02-05T00:26:00.001-05:00

That matchup versus Butler down the road is lookin mighty tasty.....BFB tasty!

One more time!

2010-01-31T21:18:00.001-05:00

Hello everyone! I know I've said this before, but I am planning on occasionally posting again. We're gonna start back from scratch! That means taking away pretty much everyones posting privledges. Sorry but you are stuck with what I give you! Hopefully more to come real soon!

Testicular pain

2009-08-27T18:40:00.003-04:00

So, I got a vasectomy today. I can say this: it's not much fun. I should have known what I was in for when I asked the doctor, "So, afterward, what's the pain that I'll feel? Is it going to be the incision, or more like a ball kick?" He said, "If you don't move, you won't feel anything." The doctor is a goddamn liar, on top of avoiding the question. I feel like somebody sliced open my scrotom, squeezed my balls, cut some pieces out of there, cauterized what was left, and didn't sew it back up.

Oh, yeah. That's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

What is it about ball pain? Getting your testicles jostled is a different kind of pain than nearly anything else. Where's my vicodin?

The Jesus Fish Phenomenon

2009-08-11T10:08:00.002-04:00

Why is it that every car that has the Jesus Fish on the back has to drive like a 90 year old woman? It doesn't matter who is in the car driving, the power of Jesus compels them to go 10mph under the speed limit. God is on your side, right? Don't worry about driving fast and reckless. Or, just get out of my way. Someone should do a study on this. The affects of the Jesus Fish on annoying driving. Get on that, science!

The Incredible Hulk fights a Grizzly Bear

2009-08-10T14:59:00.001-04:00

Because this website is dead, but Hulk still smashes.

Long time no paint...

2009-08-06T13:14:00.002-04:00

It's been a while! I finally picked up the paintbrush again on Monday:

A new idea

2009-05-23T13:31:00.003-04:00

Hi folks! I'm still alive! I have decided to raise BFB back from the grave for another crazy project. In the near future look for a Podcast from DrX, Fish and I. Here is the premise: We will invite crazy people onto the show and interview them. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work in practice, but it should at least be fun to try.

So, you may be asking yourself, where are you going to find crazy people to interview? Worry not! The internet is full of them! I am beginning to scour the nets for the craziest conspiracy theorists, alternative medicine quacks, religious nutjobs, and all around douchebags and nutcases. If anyone would like to help, or has any great ideas, let me know!

For the near future, I'm afraid BFB will just mainly be a planning area for this project, so it may not be anymore exciting than it has been. Once we have a good plan, I may create a new webpage for it and let BFB die an inglorious death. If anyone would like to take it over, it's all yours! I just don't have the time anymore to make regular posts. But, for now, there should be at least a little action here. Wish us luck in our new endeavour!

Cautiously Optimistic

2009-05-02T10:21:00.003-04:00

Ok, so they Yankees have now won 4 in a row and had a nice comeback against a struggling Angels team with a new closer. They are 13-10 and are 3.5 games ahead of Tampa, 1 game behind Boston & 2 behind Toronto (but they don't matter anyway).

So as a Yankee fan, I feel pretty good at this point. As the Kentucky Derby approaches later, I am thinking of horse racing and how it relates to the MLB season. Right now the Yankees are jockying in position trying to get to a good place at the quarter post. And I feel pretty good about it. We're staying right with the other teams, which after the last few seasons is a big improvement. We survived a big sprint by Boston (winning 11 in a row), a slow start by Texeira (BA: .189), but we're still right there.

At the same time, its kind of sad that a 13-10 start actually has me optimistic. I mean its really not that great of a record. Boston luckily, was 2-6 before their winning streak. Is this has really what it has come down to for a Yankee fan??? Mediocre? Really, Really???

Yes we are in the race and yes things look good even for a wildcard with a lot of good, but not great teams in the AL. But shouldn't we expect more? Not even just as Yankee fans, but as someone that can't even find a ticket for less than $150 available anywhere??? I mean apparently we should never lose because our payroll is so high. And it fucking better well be that way. If I can't afford to go to the game, they still have to look good on my HD.

Well that's my morning rant. Got a nice little Saturday planned. A lil' Kohl's, Fishkill Tire, maybe even a little kickball birthday celebration if we're feeling crazy. Oh and if you want to be my friend, sign-up for Facebook motherfuckers!!!

I'M OUT!!!
Mikey

Unpopular Opinions

2009-03-15T19:13:00.004-04:00

I am watching the NCAA selection show and I can't wait for the tournament to start! I am getting nervous already. Now for the unpopular opinions. First, I am SO excited Louisville got the #1 seed!!! GO CARDS!! It was interesting sitting in my living room last night watching the 'Cuse - Louisville game with Phishbone23. We had to sit on different couches. Second, now Phishbone23 just asked me who I would cheer for if Siena played Louisville. I have to admit that I would cheer for Louisville, if only because I hope they win everything. That being said, I hope Siena does well and if Siena beats Louisville, I wouldn't be devestated. And finally, third, I love Bobby Knight. They were discussing how mid majors tend to get screwed over if they are bubble teams (St. Mary's this year, and it may have happened to Siena if they hadn't won the MAAC) and Coach Knight comes in amidst all of the arguing and says, "Why not just play one more round". It makes perfect sense! It wouldn't be that hard. Anyways, I am looking forward to watching the games this weekend with Kev, MikeyO, and Phishbone23.

Caption This Picture

2009-03-12T23:51:00.003-04:00

This is a picture from a race I did this weekend (I came in 2nd!). There is a perfectly logical explanation for the way I look, but it isn't really obvious from the picture.

Seed???

2009-03-11T22:39:00.003-04:00

Well no one else seems to post on here, so I'll try to do it at least weekly. This weeks topic: Siena Basketball

So Siena made the NCAA tourney again this year, and its great. Looks like WE probably would have not gotten an at large bid, so its huge that we won the MAAC tournament. SO here's my questions: Is it better to get a 9 seed, have an easier first round matchup, and then play a #1 seed, or get an 11 seed, beat a 6 seed, and then play a 3 seed?

I think I'd much rather get teh 11 seed, since I think we can beat any 6 seed on a neutral court. Then smack around a 3 seed like like Bobby Brown on Whitney. Anyway that's my thought.

Warm weather, beer and basketball

2009-03-02T22:25:00.002-05:00

So it is now officially two weeks before my vacation starts and I can not wait!!! Of course it starts on St. Patty's day with a 9:30 trip to the dentist followed by an 11:00 at the eye doctor. but after that, I am free to drink for 6 days in a row. the key this year is not puking 6 times on the flights back on Monday.

So it's about 10 degrees here tonight, super windy and we got snow. Houston sounds sooo good right now. Saturday I am heading to the Tu to watch the Saints begin their march to the Sweet 16. So Fish, what is there to do in Houston? Got any bars or places in mind to check out???

I know this isn't the most exciting post, but considering the posts we've had lately, I think this is a winner. Part of the reason may be that I gave on drinking on work nights for lent. Lucking I don't have to work when I am in Houston, so in the words of someone amazing "It's on like Donkey Kong". Peace out biiiiiiitchez

I am the Walrus

2009-02-20T11:17:00.002-05:00

Ok, I know most people have heard about teh Chimp that went nuts and attacked and almos tkilled the lady this week. heck if it were me, I think I'd rather parish than live without my face and an arm. Anyway...

But a walrus is not a human. It has super tough think skin and thus not as easily damaged by a gorilla (even if it is bigger than a chimp). it also has tusks to help it defend itself.

Should there at least be some sort of post to discuss this. I see that the gorilla is a 6;1 favroite at this point, but I am not sure I agree.

Road Rash Brewing Company

2009-02-16T11:48:00.006-05:00

My parents were in town this weekend. So in between going to Austin to get some yummy BBQ and spiking a golf ball (accidentally) off of Phishbone23's head while golfing, I used the extra man power to bottle my first batch of beer! Hopefully it will carbonate nicely in the bottles, but even if it doesn't it still will tast pretty good.

I know this because I tasted the little I pulled out of the carboy to use to test the specific gravity before bottling.

The bottling process was probably a bit more hectic than it could have been, but it all got bottled and is now sitting in nice dark boxes in the corner of my kitchen. Hopefully in a week or two I will have some nicely carbonated American Pale Ale to drink!

After bottling I deicded that since the carboy was now empty that meant I could use it for a second batch of beer. So now I have a cream ale that is sitting in my kitchen fermenting away! My hope is that both beers will be ready by the time Kev and Mikey get here in a month!

The next step is to decide if I want to keep bottling or if I want to invest in kegging equipment and a kegerator!

I guess it's back on

2009-02-15T23:56:00.004-05:00

The next battle of the beasts is between the gorilla and the walrus. Does any of the other posters here want to take this one? It doesn't matter how the battle is illustrated, just be original about it. Anyways, I'll post the poll on the main page for everyone to vote on the winner. It will expire on Friday night, so get your votes in, folks! Feel free to discuss your pick in the comments section.

Update: I forgot that we also were randomly picking locations for these battles, too. The problem is, I can't find those locations we picked for this. So, let's say this battle happens in a Burger King bathroom.

Zombie vs. Croc

2009-02-14T23:28:00.005-05:00

It was a cool spring night. I caught the scent of fresh blood and my hunger made me pursue. I didn't like the fact that I had an overwhelming hunger for the flesh of the living, but it was all I could eat anymore. I've tried eating grains and fruits and vegetable, and even the processed meat of cattle and poultry, but none of them satisfied my hunger. I needed brains. Fresh brains.

So, here I was wondering through an African swampland, following the smell of life. Ever since my change, my sight has been poor and my hearing has nearly vanished. If it hadn't been I may have seen or heard the splashing as the giant reptile lunged from the tall grass to my right and latched onto my thigh. It twisted and pulled until my entire bottom torso ripped free. I felt nothing, as my nerves have long ago died and rotted. Here I now lie. A torso with no legs, a victim to the workers of nature, the beetles and flies who feast upon my dead flesh. Life enduring from living death. How ironic. Is ironic the right word here? How should I know? I'm a rotting zombie without any legs, and I have lost my battle to the crocodile...

No combo breaker today

2009-02-14T23:06:00.002-05:00

Today I am finding out how many shots of vodka I can drink before I forget what day it is. It turns out I can drink a lot of vodka! Anyways, I'm feeling pretty happy right now. It's amazing how that works. You know, I've been thinking lately, I need some sunglasses. Now that I have contacts, I figure I can splurge on some non prescription sunglasses. Yeah, that really is all I have today. You know, I think I have to come up with another couple shticks or something for this blog. The battle of the beasts thing is just too damn time consuming. Sorry! I know it was fun and all, but it really is a pain in the ass to make those little flash movies, especially when the free trial for flash runs out after 30 days. Maybe I'll think of another way to simulate the fights that is a bit less work intensive in the future. Until then, you just have to deal with my rambling, useless posts. You'll take it and like it!

One of those days

2009-02-13T19:40:00.002-05:00

I'm worn out tonight. It was one of those days I just didn't want to be at work, and the day just dragged on and everything broke. On a day like today, I like to punch children. I go down to the local elementary school and just go crazy, punching every little kid I can find. They all cry and ask "Why!? Why did you punch me?" and I say "Because I'm having a bad day, now shut up before I give you something to cry about!" Children love me!

I'm posting today!

2009-02-12T23:27:00.002-05:00

Hey Mr. Darwin, happy birthday! I did a bit of drinking after work today, but I got back in time to post before the day is out! Hmmmm... I, of course, have nothing to post about. So, let me just state in this post that I hate Eastern Europeans. That's right! I said it! You're all jerks. That's the sole thing I learned today, and I pass that knowledge on to all of my loyal readers. Also, pie is tasty.

Alright folks!

2009-02-11T20:51:00.002-05:00

I have completely neglected the blog which is a horrible thing. It's not exactly like I have anything else going on, either. So, I'll tell you what, I'm going to make an attempt to make a post a day for an entire week, and hope that it gets me back in the mood. I guess that makes today the first day. I really don't have any clever ideas of what to post about, so let me tell you about my day. This morning I got up and drank a bottle liquid that I found outside on the side of the road last night. I have no idea what it was, but I just woke up! I have no idea what I did all day, but now I have only 8 fingers, and a tattoo of a Mexican dancing girl on my back! Crazy!

Beer Update

2009-02-09T08:54:00.002-05:00

So I haven't been posting the day to day pictures because they all pretty much look the same. The foam has subsided and I am now just waiting for it to settle to the bottom before I double check the specific gravity (to make sure I am not going to be building little shrapnel grenades) and then bottle. I am sure that bottling will be an interesting process given the number of bottles and the size of my kitchen, so hopefully there will be good pictures soon.

36 Hours of Fermentation

2009-02-03T11:44:00.003-05:00

After 36 hours of fermentation (to 5:30am) I have seen increased CO2 output as well as a lightening of the color of the beer. The house has also acquired a mild overtone of fermenting beer.

Road Rash American Pale Ale

2009-02-02T08:52:00.008-05:00

Phishbone23 and I brewed our first batch of beer yesterday using the equipment and American Pale Ale kit that he got me for Christmas. In order to prepare for this endeavour, I spent Saturday purchasing what I thought was all I would need to brew my first batch of beer. The beer kit has all of the ingredients needed for making the beer. They are all premeasured and the grain is even ready to go into the pot.

The equipment kit that Fish got me for Christmas has almost everything I needed in it for brewing, but I still had to get a pot (5 gal), a steel spoon, and I went ahead and got bottles for when I bottle it in about a week.

To get all of this equipment, I went to the store where Fish got the kits. The store, B&S Brewers Guild, is amazing. They have all kinds of grains and other stuff. They say they have enought variety to make 42,000,000 different kinds of beer. Using combinatorics I don't think that is really that difficult (especially since a slight change in amounts will brew a different beer) but still it is rather impressive. Even more cool though is that they do brewing demonstrations every Saturday. This is especially cool because, since they do brewing demonstrations every Saturday, that means they have lots of beer sitting around just waiting to be drunk. Since they don't have a liquor licence instead they have a freezer full of cold glasses and beer that they just give away! So I spent Saturday afternoon sipping on beer and learning about what I would be doing myself the next day.

Early Sunday afternoon Fish and I decided to start brewing the beer. This is when I realized I don't have a thermometer (not totally necessary, but being a scientist I like to be precise) so we ran back over to the beer store and got a thermometer. When we got home we started brewing the beer. Since it was Super Bowl Sunday I was also trying to multitask and make a cheese dip while my grains were steeping. Of course the ingredients and equiptment for brewing took up most of my counter space so I while I was making the dip, I accidently knocked my hydrometer on the ground where is promptly shattered. Luckily the beer store was still open. Fish, being the kind fiance that he is, ran back over and got me a new hydrometer.

This was only one of many mishaps I had while trying to brew the beer. The most painful of which consisted of trying to squeeze almost boiling water out of a cheesecloth bag with my bare hands. I think I can do better next time.

The most frustrating part of the whole process was getting the wort to cool. It took it over an hour to get down to below 90F. This is when I could siphon the wort into the carboy for fermentation and add the yeast.

As of 5:30am this morning the yeast seems to be doing its job and hopefully I will have good beer in a few weeks!

Some pictures from the brewing process are below! (I will try to add ones with Phishbone23 later, but his bright shiny face is just too brilliant for pictures, so they need to be doctored a bit.)

Steeping the grains

Boiling the wort

Cooling the wort

Just into the carboy with the yeast added

12 hours later at 5:30am today

It's a froggie!

2009-02-01T22:44:00.001-05:00

Suuuuuuuper Bowl!

2009-01-29T20:09:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone. Long time, no see. The Super Bowl is coming up and I was wondering if you folks would like to try something like last year, where we had live updates on the blog. I figure I can post a chat box if people are going to be around. Whattaya think?

Road Rash Pale Ale

2009-01-28T08:07:00.002-05:00

No this is not a post about biking, but rather about another of my favorite things, beer. Phishbone23 purchased a home brewing kit (a real one, not a Mr. Beer) and the ingredients for an American Pale Ale for me for Christmas. I have not made it yet, but I think I will be trying to make it this weekend. Since there has been a lack of posts recently I thought maybe I would try to do a couple about how the beer is coming along. With luck it will be both ready and palatable by the time Kev and Mikey arrive in Houston in March.

Commence with the fighting

2009-01-22T22:23:00.002-05:00

Can we please go back to the great battle of the animals that we had before. I think it was one of the mlost posted and visited postings we have had yet. So I say, "Commence with the fighting of the living, till only 1 creature is alive!!!"

Broken teeth

2009-01-20T18:37:00.003-05:00

Most of you have already seen this, but I figure I'll post it anyways. This is the painting I made for my sister for Christmas:

A couple notes

2009-01-20T18:18:00.003-05:00

Holy crap! Snow! In North Carolina! We got almost half a foot of snow today and it's actually going to hang around through tomorrow, before it gets back in the 50s on Thursday. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts!

Also, Barack Obama is not the 44th president, he is the 43rd. Grover Cleveland must not be counted twice! It makes no fucking sense! So, listen up media, Barack Obama is the 43rd person to become president of the United States, therefore he is the 43rd president. Thank you.

A painting for Doug

2009-01-17T17:35:00.003-05:00

Just finished my weekly Saturday painting, and I have to say, this is one of my favorites. This one is going to Doug. So, who do I owe paintings to? I know Mikey wanted one. Anyone else? I'm taking requests. Keep my Saturdays busy! It keeps my mind off of other, less productive, things.

Need a larger living room...

2009-01-17T00:33:00.003-05:00

So I just upgraded my home theater setup and I wanted to share a picture of my old subwoofer (right) vs. my new one (left). It's a monster and I am very unsure where I will put it!! BTW, that is just a regular sized DVD case for scale purposes. Sorry about the poor picture quality.

My inspiration for the last painting

2009-01-11T14:27:00.001-05:00

This story from the BBC:

Juan the Andean spectacled bear first paddled across a moat using a log for a raft, then scaled a wall.
Finally he appeared to commandeer a bicycle, before zookeepers with brooms cornered him, and a colleague picked him off with a tranquiliser gun.

Bears on bicycles friggin rule.

Something y'all might ejoy

2009-01-10T22:42:00.001-05:00

I found this while wasting time:

Pulp Mario

Latest Painting

2009-01-10T15:45:00.002-05:00

Here's one of the paintings I promised to post. It sums up the last few months of my life:

Ok, I'm posting.

2009-01-10T10:05:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts since I got back from vacation. I am still alive, just distracted. I do actually have a lot to post, so look for it in the coming days. I'm just not in the mood right now. For those who were present at the eating challenges a couple weeks ago, feel free to sum them up. I can post the video later, but to tell you the truth, it's going to be tough to edit it and make it exciting. I'll have some paintings to show off too. One of which pretty much sums up my life right now. OK, to be continued later.

Kev, are you alive?

2009-01-07T13:49:00.001-05:00

Hey, dude. Where ya been?

Left 4 Dead

2009-01-02T13:49:00.002-05:00

Well, me and Kev got each other Left 4 Dead for Christmas. Killing hordes of zombies is really fun, and I don't sleep well after playing that game for a while. If anybody else wants to play, my Steam profile name is DrX, same as it is here.

It's a vacation

2008-12-21T12:34:00.002-05:00

Sorry for no posts this week, and there probably won't be any more after this until the new year. It's a vacation! Don't you all abandon the blog forever, now. I'll have lots of fun stuff to post when I get back, including the progress of making some short films, some eating contests, the painting I made for my sister, and any adventures I have in the great North East. Everyone have a great Christmas and New Years!

A Bonus

2008-12-14T14:40:00.003-05:00

Here is a bonus painting for y'all. If you are wondering about the different style of this one, it is because this painting was originally my paining buddy's. She hated how it came out and discarded it, so I took it, added some water and a drowning sun. Enjoy!

I just don't stop

2008-12-13T19:45:00.003-05:00

The cow painting went over very well at the Christmas party last night and was stolen several times. And now I made the mistake of promising paintings to people. Here is the first. It is a mongoose playing poker with a cobra:

Looking Ugly

2008-12-13T11:27:00.000-05:00

So tonight I am hosting an Ugly Christmas Sweater party along with my roommate Jen. We are expecting about 25-30 people all dressed up UGLY. I'll try to post up the pictures in the next week or so once I have had time to download them. Be on the lookout. Go UGLY or go HOME

Winter Wonderland

2008-12-11T00:17:00.001-05:00

My professor told me today that it would be a cold day in hell before I passed his final exam....I wonder if he knew it was snowing here in Houston when he said this?

A question to all my readers

2008-12-09T20:50:00.002-05:00

If you could take any animal and genetically engineer it to be large enough, and domesticated enough, to ride to and from work, what would it be? I think I may choose a giant wasp. How bad ass would a 600 pound wasp look like, flying through the air with me on its back, with a cowboy hat in one hand and a giant lollipop in the other?

The finished product

2008-12-07T17:53:00.002-05:00

The Cownibble

From a sketch to a masterpiece

2008-12-07T10:27:00.002-05:00

Last night I sketched out the painting I'm planning on doing today. For comparison's sake, here is the sketch now, and I'll post the painting tonight, if I finish.

Insoooooooooomnia

2008-12-05T00:30:00.004-05:00

It feels like most of my posts on this blog start with me apologizing for not writing anything lately. And this is one of those posts. I need help from you folks, however. I have a Christmas party coming up for work and we are doing a gift exchange. I was planning on making a painting for this, but I'm not sure what to paint. I am currently leaning towards a portrait of a cow eating a hamburger, but I am open to suggestions. Anyone have any?

Late night reading

2008-12-04T00:36:00.001-05:00

Roger Ebert does a much more thorough job reviewing Expelled than I did.

Back to the grind

2008-11-30T21:27:00.002-05:00

The holiday week is over, folks. Time to get back to everyday living. Sorry, I have no paintings for you tonight, I didn't have the time to get more paint and canvas this weekend. I should have something for you next week, though. If anyone has any requests for paintings, let me know. Canvas and paint are pretty cheap, so I'll make something for everyone if you'd like. It just might take a while. Paintings for all!

Also, I am in need of a creepy puppet for the upcoming film I am going to attempt to make over the Christmas holiday, and was wondering if you guys could help me out in finding one. I was thinking something along the lines of a lizard, but anything creepy would probably do. Oh, and I'm on a budget, so nothing too crazy.

The day after

2008-11-28T09:47:00.002-05:00

I hope everyon had a great Thanksgiving and properly stuffed themselves full of varying sorts of food. This is the last day that the parents are in town here, so I'll try to post something over the weekend. I may be doing more painting tomorrow, too. Anyways, what good stuff did everyone have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Thanksgiving break

2008-11-24T20:59:00.001-05:00

OK folks, the parents are in town for Thanksgiving, so I'll most likely be MIA for the rest of the week. Hope everyone has a great holiday and gets to eat a ton of turkey!

More painting!

2008-11-22T18:55:00.003-05:00

Well, I spent another Saturday afternoon painting, and here is the result:

Yay for breakfast!

Late night delusional story time

2008-11-20T01:13:00.003-05:00

There was a boy who had an abnormal fascination for a table. The boy's love for the table was not returned to him, since everyone knows that tables are incapable of love. The boy didn't care, however. The love he had for the table was his, and he wouldn't give it up for anything. One day someone came and took the table away and the boy was very sad at first, but then realized that the table didn't have to be there at all. What he was really in love with was the feeling the table gave him. Just thinking of the table back to when he loved it was enough to get him through tough times. The love the boy had was truly selfish, but maybe all love is. But the table never cared.

Because I'm lazy...

2008-11-20T00:23:00.002-05:00

..and don't feel like making a real post, since I really have nothing to say, I will now post some music for your veiwing and listening enjoyment. Kick out the jams, motherfuckers!

Expelled for boredom

2008-11-16T23:57:00.004-05:00

Just watched Expelled on Netflix. I was going to write a review, but there really is no point. The movie is everything I was expecting and didn't wait long to show you that. In fact, right in the opening credits was old footage of Nazis and the Berlin Wall being built. The movie was just more frustrating and chaotic than outrageous, though.

The thing I consider the most ridiculous thing: the movie is suppose to be about how Intelligent Design (ID) is being unfairly shut out from the scientific community despite it being a legitimate science. Why then, for the entire movie, is there not a single mention of any findings of ID, nor even a solid description of ID? You would think that a film about ID's struggles would have a good description of what it is. But that would be impossible, because ID isn't a theory at all, it is just a critique of "Darwinism" and claims that anything that "Darwinism" can't explain must be the result of an intelligent designer. There are no scientific studies behind it. And by "Darwinism" they are actually talking about Darwin's findings only, as if Evolutionary Biology has made no progress in the past 150 years.

Buy anyways, Stein's comments in promoting the movie were much more inflammatory than anything in the film. It pretty much just harps on the fact that beleif in "Darwinism" leads to atheism, and atheism is bad because the commies were atheists. Yeah, that's about all they had. Fuck it, it's a waste of time.

Now I'm a Painter!

2008-11-15T20:53:00.006-05:00

Seeing as how I have lived in the same apartment for a year and a half and still have blank walls, I thought it was about time to do something about that, so I invited a friend over and we went and bought a bunch of painting supplies and painted pictures. What I learned is that I am a pretty decent artist. I now present to you my first painting ever. I call it "Mr. Plum's First Day of Work at the Toothpick Factory":

Hmmmm...

2008-11-15T09:02:00.003-05:00

In case you are not a Netflix user, let me enlighten you with something cool they now have. For almost a year now they have been adding movies to their "Watch Instantly" section that you can watch streaming over the internet. The picture is pretty good, and it's a cool little addition, especially since you have unlimited access with no extra charge to your subscription. I just noticed that in the instant watch section they have added Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. You may remember DrX and I sending Ben Stein emails about this movie and comments he made promoting it, but, as far as I know, neither of us have watched it. Well, my goal is to watch it this weekend and post a movie review. This should be fun...

Why I love and hate TV news, part 98

2008-11-14T12:34:00.001-05:00

I've got a problem with...

2008-11-13T22:38:00.002-05:00

Here is the segment of the blog when Kevin drinks a bunch of vodka, goes to a random article on Wikipedia and bitches about whatever comes up. So, for the first installment, I've got a problem with Raymond Vieussens. So he thinks he's all special because he could accurately describe a human heart? Yeah, that's real tough. Oh, so he lived in the 1600s and was a pioneer in cardiology. Know who else was a pioneer in his feild? Hitler, that's who. Now, I'm not saying Raymond Vieussens is as bad as Hitler, I'm just saying that if he had lived in Nazi Germany, rather than 17th century France, he'd probably be Hitler. And I'm not even going to go into his penchant for having sex with sheep...

Should Joe Really Be Excited???

2008-11-13T16:36:00.002-05:00

The Yankees made their 2nd move of the off-season today (the first was re-signing Marte to a 3 yr $12MM contract when he sucked last year) by trading for the great Nick Swisher. As you can read in the story below:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3700869

Nick Swisher had the worst batting average among MLB players with at least 500 AB's last year. THE WORST!!! "We're excited with the addition of Nick Swisher," Joe Girardi said in a statement released by the team. "We feel he has a ton of upside.

Ton of upside??? The guy is the worst hitter in the Majors! How can he not get any better. That's like saying I see a ton of upside in McDonald's cheeseburgers becoming healthier. They can't get any worse for you as it is.

Unfortunately the off-season has gotten off to a slow start for the Yankees and I don't see it getting any better. They'll overpay to get C.C. who in 2 years will weigh 300 pounds and be worse than Bartolo Colon (remember him? Yeah I barely do either).

At least the Redskins will destroy the Cowboys this week.

P.S. - Next week is the Kickball championship tournament. I know ya'll can't wait for updates, so check back next Friday. VIVA LA HOFF

A call for help

2008-11-12T18:54:00.005-05:00

Alright folks, I need an office and an apartment to film in while I'm up in Albany. Anyone have anything in the area for me? Also, if we do the majority of the filming the weekend after Christmas, who is going to be around to help me? I still need one actor and two actresses. Kris has shown a willingness to be one of the actresses, so I just need one more. Any of you guys have any hidden acting skills by any chance?

Correction: I need two actors, two actresses and a dead monkey. One of the actresses has no lines, gets to dress like a hooker and play dead.

Plum Story

2008-11-11T23:46:00.004-05:00

I woke up one morning a few months ago and found a plum sitting on my bed. Just a single, solitary plum sitting there staring at me. I asked him what he was doing there, but he didn't answer. Plums have a way of doing that. I got up and went to the bathroom to get ready for work and the plum followed me. I tried to ignore it, but it was always there lurking. Ever since then the plum has been following me around. Sometimes I think it has gone away to bug someone else but it always shows back up. I've debated eating the plum, but I don't like the taste. I could try and pawn the plum off on someone else, but that would be unfair to them. So here I am, stuck with a goddamn plum following me around wherever I go and I wish I could get rid of it.

Weekend Movie Reveiw

2008-11-09T19:58:00.002-05:00

Every weekend I watch at least one movie, so it occurs to me maybe I should use the blog to review and recommend those films for all of you. Might as well give it a shot, eh? Anyways, this weekend I watched the film Mongol. It is a fairly new release and I had wanted to see it when it was out in theaters, but never found the motivation to find where it was playing and go see it. I'm kind of glad I didn't. Anyways, this film follows Ghengis Khan through his childhood to him uniting the Mongols. It was a very beatifully filmed movie, but totally didn't do it for me.

The film was fairly slow moving, but it is easy to deal with, since it was a beautiful film. It's best quality, I think, was the time it took to show the beauty of the scenery the film took place in. My main problem with the film was that everything about it was ridiculously unrealistic. It had a spiritualist message that it constantly hit you over the head with, which really annoyed the hell out of me, and the battle sequences played more like a martial arts film then a non-fiction drama. Look, this wasn't a bad movie, and is worth watching, but these were just the little things that annoy me about it. So, I guess I would recommend this movie, but don't expect anything all that original or spectacular. It is a very pretty film, though, so get it on Blu-Ray if you have one and watch it on a big screen.

So, what do y'all think? Should this be a regular thing?

Wow!

2008-11-06T21:51:00.001-05:00

It looks like I live in a blue state: link

Just goes to show you what a wacky election this was. A black guy won the majority of votes in North Carolina. I guess all us transplanted yanks are doing something good down here.

Something we all enjoy

2008-11-06T15:58:00.002-05:00

And no I am not talking about a handjob. I am actually talking about Siena Men's basketball. Its getting to be about that time of year again. I've started to do some reasearch and the men are playing some tough temas this year. Games against ranked teams such as Tennessee, Georgetown, Pitt, Kansas and others await. But Siena was ranked #1 in the MAAC by the coaches and Kenny Hasbrook is the pre-season MVP. Also, College inside has ranked Siena #5 in the country among mid-major conferences and Kenny as the MVP of the mid-majors (although I think it'd be Stephen Curry). Also we got 13 points in the preseason top 25 poll.

I know its only pre-season rankings, but things look good this year and we can watch the Saints in teh tourney again in 2009 when we conviene in Houston. Let's Go Saints!!!

Someone has to comment on this...

2008-11-05T19:10:00.003-05:00

...and it may as well be me. It has been official for a while now. Us American participants of this blog have a new president. Now, seeing as how I write on a blog, I must automatically assume that everyone needs my opinion on this, so here it is. Obviously, this was an historic election, as we finally break our streak of old white guys running our country. The way I figure it, this can't be a bad thing. Hopefully it will encourage a whole generation of minorities to become more involved in politics and push some of these cynical, greedy bastards out. So, what about Obama, specifically? Well, I'm really not sure. The past 8 years have really fucked things up royally, and I'm not sure how successful anyone could be in turning that around. I do like the guy, though. He seems to be genuinely intellectually honest and capable, but I'm afraid he's going to be under fire from the start and beaten down, with Republicans picking up some of their lost seats during the midterm election and sending us back into partisan inefficiency. Well, at least this election is a good sign that this country is finally becoming more socially progressive. And if a black man can get elected president, maybe one day an atheist can, too. Eh, who am I kidding? That ain't gonna happen in my lifetime.

Hello???

2008-11-05T11:43:00.003-05:00

Hello, is anyone out there??? I realize I do not post too often, but does anyone read this anymore? Does anyone other than Kevin take the time to make posts? And how about the Animal Survival Contest? That generated a ton of posts and replies. Let's get back to completing it. What is going on with you people?

The problem with pandas

2008-11-02T21:30:00.002-05:00

Anyone have a small dining room table for me? I'll give you a magical rock for it that will grant you one wish. I wished for a pet talking panda, which was a very bad idea. Pandas may be cute, but they are mean little bastards. And you know what? They aren't that little, either. Now I have a 400 pound panda locked in my bathroom, yelling that he's going to rip out my throat and feast on my intestines. And he expects me to open the door for him? I figure another couple of days and the panda will be weak enough, from lack of food, for me to sneak in there and hit him in the head with a hammer. That leads to another problem, though. What do you do with the corpse of a talking panda? I'm thinking bbq.

The problem with people...

2008-10-31T22:04:00.003-04:00

They appreciate the known over the unknown, no matter how promising the unknown is. What? DrX can post ridiculously short and uninformative posts, but not me?

And speaking of religion:

2008-10-30T16:16:00.002-04:00

Christians. Praying for money. To a golden bull. Seriously.

This could only have originated from somebody trying to fuck with Jesus people, right? Or the 700 Club.

Deuteronomy 23:1

2008-10-30T15:55:00.000-04:00

That is all.

Maybe I should rethink this...

2008-10-25T13:10:00.004-04:00

In trying to film myself shaving in the style of The Bay, I blew up my bathroom... Now I have a mess of burnt shaving cream to clean up. I suffer for my art. Look for the video in the coming days.

Update: Great, I have burn marks on the ceiling that won't come out... Bye bye security deposit!

Update 2: Ok, I can't resist posting this now:

It's 6:00 and I'm stuck at work

2008-10-21T17:59:00.002-04:00

SO the last two weeks has been budget season here at "The Card" and it sucks. Basically, I have done nothing the last 4 work days, but yet am I told I have to sit here for another 2 hours after my usual leave time "in case something happens". Nothing ever happens except me sitting here bored. Sorry if this is a boring post, but I needed to ge this off my chest. It's fucking ridicolous. I'd rather be watching a video of Kev shaving his legs than sit here any longer. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Challenge me!

2008-10-20T14:08:00.002-04:00

Ok, so here's an idea. I'm going to make another movie this coming weekend (since I have nothing else to do). The next movie will be Kevin shaving, sticking with the morning routine theme. You guys pick the style you want to see it done in. Whether it is a genre, director, or specific movie, just throw some ideas out here and I'll put it up for a vote or something.

I can't be stopped!

2008-10-19T17:02:00.003-04:00

Another boring day, another video!

My first short film

2008-10-18T21:44:00.004-04:00

Seeing as how I am bored and I own a fancy new camera, I now present to you my first short film:

Rum Chugger

2008-10-17T10:43:00.002-04:00

So there has not been many stories told of the great Schneider wedding of 2008 on this blog, but I do have 1 that I have been meaning to post.

On the day of the wedding, myself, Kev, Phishbone, and a few others went out for a nice relaxing lunch at the local pub. Upon arriving back we stopped by our rooms to get ready for the wedding.

In my room, I open my bottle of bicardi and pour myself a drink. About 2 minutes later Kev entrs and asks if I still have any bicardi. As someone how prefers to not drink alone, I offer him my bottle which was about half full (1 liter size).

To my amazement, kev takes the top off and begins to chug the bottle of rum. In about 10 seconds, Kev the Great drank half a liter of Bicardi. Then he turned around and walked out of the room back into his own. I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say or do. I go next door and he and Fish, and BG are laughing histarically (sp?). apparently they decide to bet Kev he wouldn't go into my room and drink my rum, so he did.

And what did kev get out of this bet??? NOTHING!!! Apparently in his infant wisdom he forgot to bet anything. Well as the wedding proceeded about 1.5 hours later, Kev did manage to stay awake through the ceremony. However various reports had him vomiting during teh cock tail hour and possibly in teh beginning of the reception. I do have to admit though, kev was still drinknig trhough out the night as he bounced back like a true alcky.

And that is how kev the Great became Kev the Rum Chugger. The end

I got it!

2008-10-15T23:31:00.001-04:00

My new camcorder came today! I've been screwing around with it and it totally kicks ass. Anyone know of any good video editing software?

Nag, Nag, Nag

2008-10-14T13:41:00.002-04:00

So it seems that my brothers have inherited this special skill from my mother. They forget that the whole world doesn't have a cushy job which includes sitting in front of the computer all day. ;)
So what is it like to be a hairdresser? It kinda sucks, actually. You have to be on your feet all day with your hands in wet hair and have to do all the sucky customer service and sales things that you'd have to do working in Macys. The worst part of all is having to make small talk with 10-15 people every single day, it's horribly draining. Teaching is certainly better, you get to do the fun parts without the dried up hands, sore back and feet. Turns out I'm pretty freakin good at teaching, too..
You'd think that being around 200 cute 18 year olds would be a good thing, but have you been around an 18 year old lately? I swear they're like 12. And our school doesn't have federal funding yet, so a lot of the girls who are there have parents who can afford to just drop $27K on a year of school. Doesn't matter how cute a spoiled 18 year old is..

Looking for a distraction

2008-10-12T22:40:00.002-04:00

I know I haven't been doing much blogging lately. I don't even really know if I know how to blog. Fine thing to be learning over a year after starting this thing. Not much excitement happens round here, and I'm not one to get too personal about anything, so therefore not many posts. All I got is these stream of consciousness blabberings (is that a word?). Anyways, did anyone do anything exciting over the weekend? I watched a ton of movies. I find that I never get lonely as long as there is a good movie for me to watch. Hmmm, maybe that's stunting my social life, but I don't care, it's what I love. I'll be working second shift again this week, so I'll try to post some stuff late at night when I'm bored at work. I'll try to be more entertaining, too, but no guarantees.

Oh, it's on!

2008-10-11T12:05:00.003-04:00

I just ordered a A Sony hdr-sr11 camcorder. It's on folks! I figure there will be plenty of time for me to learn the ins and outs of the camera by the time we are ready to shoot, but this is real now. We're making a mother fucking movie!

Beck, do you actually read this blog? If so, are you going to be in NY at Christmas time and can you do hair and makeup? You've done photo shoots before, right? Maybe you can help out with lighting, too? That's gonna be the area where I'll need the most help, I think...

I have a free ticket!

2008-10-09T08:24:00.002-04:00

Hey folks! Long time, no see! I hope everyone is doing splendidly! Anyways, I just thought I'd let you all know that I have earned a free round trip plane ticket to anywhere in the US. Unfortunately there are blackout dates around Christmas time, so I can't use it then. What I can do, however is use it to fly somewhere in the next few month in order to make a short film with my wonderful friends. That somewhere would most likely be Albany. Anyone think they could meet me there at anytime? Or should I just wait to film that when everyone is around for Christmas? I've got the itch, folks!

I'm still here!

2008-10-05T13:36:00.005-04:00

Hey folks, sorry for not posting in a while. It's been a kind of crazy week for me. I am back, though, and I come bearing pictures! You see, I went deep sea fishing yesterday with a few guys from work. It was pretty cool. The boat left out of Atlantic Beach at 6AM which sucked, especially considering we were up until 2AM drinking in the hotel. Anyways, we went way way out into the ocean and fished all day long and ended up abducting a ton of fish from the ocean. Here's my catch:

Yup, I caught a shark. Here's a closeup of his angry little face:

On the way back to the docks, we came across a group of dolphins who decided to play in the boats wake:

It was a fun trip, in all. I'm a bit sunburnt, but it was worth it. Hope everyone else had a great weekend!

Hurricane Ike Pictures

2008-10-01T23:51:00.008-04:00

My kitchen ceiling wasn't vaulted when last I saw it.

One side of the backyard. Tree underneath the fence aren't too damaged, but the worst part is that the neighbors have this little ratty ass dog that they just turn loose. This dog tried to attack Phishbone through the window screen. Dog is damn lucky I'm not at home.

Other side of the backyard. There are three other trees lost in the branches of this fallen one. The next pictures are what the area looked like after we cleaned up the backyard.

This landscaping was completley hidden by the fallen tree.

Unfortunately I don't have pictures of phishbone and I up on the roof putting the tarps down, but it was fun.

Yo Phishbone!

2008-10-01T01:11:00.001-04:00

Let's see some pics of the destruction!

Bye Paul

2008-09-28T14:47:00.003-04:00

In case you all haven't heard, Paul Newman died late Friday night. He was a great actor and the star of a couple of my favorite movies (as well as a billion others): Cool Hand Luke, and one of my top 5 favorite films of all time, The Hustler. He seemed like a pretty cool guy, not a massive douche, so it's kind of sad. He was old and had cancer, though, so not much of a surprise. In case you haven't noticed, I may be the poorest eulugy writer ever (Update: Roger Ebert does a much better job than I). Anyways, enough writing and more film clips. Here's part of the final scene from The Hustler:

Tell us a story Beck!

2008-09-26T21:04:00.001-04:00

Our newest poster has yet to post! It can be a bit difficult to find something to post about the first time, so let me help get you in the swing of things, Becky. Tell me, what's it like being a hairstylist? What goes into a typical day, and how many hot single girls do you work with?

Craziness....

2008-09-25T07:21:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I have been without power for over a week now and I have been "sitting alone in my 4 cornered room staring at candles", literally (reference to the dude above). Now , I was wondering if what I was doing last night would be considered crazy. I was commentating for my own solitaire game. Not just one commentator, but two (a color guy, and a play-by-play guy complete with different voices). Is this crazy for me? If not, I am interested to know what you all think would be crazy actions by me. Feel free to comment.

(forgot where I found picture, sorry)

New Poster!

2008-09-24T08:55:00.003-04:00

You may have noticed on the sidebar that we have lost one blogger and gained another. Unfortunately there was a philosophical disagreement between Mummy Hitler and I. He wanted to kill me and eat my brains, and I wanted a cheeseburger. Anyways, Mummy Hitler has been removed from this blog and has been replaced by Becky. Feel free to post on anything, Beck! Just please don't talk about cycling...

On a side note, today is the first day I'm going to work 2nd shift at work, and I was looking forward to sleeping in. So, of course what happens? Today is the day my apartment complex decides to mow the lawn at 8:30 in the morning right outside my window. This is how my life is going lately, people.

He set 'em up, I knock 'em down

2008-09-21T10:47:00.004-04:00

DrX: What kind of card does one send to somebody in rehab?

Me: One that can't be smoked?

So, DrX and I have a friend that went into rehab, and we were wondering what would be a good thing to send to him. No packages are allowed, just cards or letters, so sneaking in a hollow cake full of heroin is not a possibility. What does the BFB community think? Does Hallmark make rehab cards?

Lazy Sunday post

2008-09-21T09:45:00.004-04:00

This has been the longest weekend of my life, I think. The problem is, I'm not sure what I'm waiting for on Monday. Imagine someone tells you that in a couple days you are either going to win the lottery or be hit in the balls with a crowbar. That's how I'm feeling right now. Who knows, maybe it'll drag out a few days, weeks, or months. I should just say goodbye to a normal night's sleep right now. Anyways, everyone wish me luck, even though you have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm so mysterious!

MONDAY UPDATE: Kick in the balls, ladies and gentleman. Kick in the balls. What else is new?

They're baaaaaaack

2008-09-19T09:07:00.002-04:00

The Hoffs kicked off the fall kickball season in winning fashion beating the Bovine Thunder 3-0 to avenge a lost in the spring finale. The Hoffs were lead by Mikey O who scored the winning run as the Hoffs jumped out to a 3-0 after the first inning. combining a dazzling pitching performance by tony AKA "T-bag", and great defense, the Hoffs are set to run the table this season. Stay tuned for mroe updates as the Hoffs battle long-time nemesis Wayne "Mr. Kickball" Romer and Luck of The Irish next week.

Insanity...

2008-09-19T00:17:00.009-04:00

It has always fascinated me. What is it really like to be insane, to have a brain that is uncontrollable and unpredictable? I try to imagine it and try to replicate it, but never could possibly understand it. Sometimes I think about getting old and suffering dementia, and it doesn't scare me at all. It's something I want to experience. Does anyone else think this way, or am I alone?

Gibberish

2008-09-19T00:17:00.004-04:00

Can't run to the top of the gurney with a girl named Fannie can you see? Go home and vacate a game of horny toads with a van of girls named Jane and Barry. How long till we have a chance to be what we are and eat what we want and go where we are going to go with a toad and a band of lanced boils. To make sense of anything you must lose a sense of everything. It's late and I can't sleep...

So what else is up?

2008-09-17T22:11:00.006-04:00

Mikey has a story about me and the wedding. Tell it Mikey! On a seperate note, yet still related to toes, I figure I should tell the world that I have a red big toe nail on my right foot. Thank you all and good night.