I've got a problem with...

Here is the segment of the blog when Kevin drinks a bunch of vodka, goes to a random article on Wikipedia and bitches about whatever comes up. So, for the first installment, I've got a problem with Raymond Vieussens. So he thinks he's all special because he could accurately describe a human heart? Yeah, that's real tough. Oh, so he lived in the 1600s and was a pioneer in cardiology. Know who else was a pioneer in his feild? Hitler, that's who. Now, I'm not saying Raymond Vieussens is as bad as Hitler, I'm just saying that if he had lived in Nazi Germany, rather than 17th century France, he'd probably be Hitler. And I'm not even going to go into his penchant for having sex with sheep...

Should Joe Really Be Excited???

The Yankees made their 2nd move of the off-season today (the first was re-signing Marte to a 3 yr $12MM contract when he sucked last year) by trading for the great Nick Swisher. As you can read in the story below:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3700869

Nick Swisher had the worst batting average among MLB players with at least 500 AB's last year. THE WORST!!! "We're excited with the addition of Nick Swisher," Joe Girardi said in a statement released by the team. "We feel he has a ton of upside.

Ton of upside??? The guy is the worst hitter in the Majors! How can he not get any better. That's like saying I see a ton of upside in McDonald's cheeseburgers becoming healthier. They can't get any worse for you as it is.

Unfortunately the off-season has gotten off to a slow start for the Yankees and I don't see it getting any better. They'll overpay to get C.C. who in 2 years will weigh 300 pounds and be worse than Bartolo Colon (remember him? Yeah I barely do either).

At least the Redskins will destroy the Cowboys this week.

P.S. - Next week is the Kickball championship tournament. I know ya'll can't wait for updates, so check back next Friday. VIVA LA HOFF

A call for help

Alright folks, I need an office and an apartment to film in while I'm up in Albany. Anyone have anything in the area for me? Also, if we do the majority of the filming the weekend after Christmas, who is going to be around to help me? I still need one actor and two actresses. Kris has shown a willingness to be one of the actresses, so I just need one more. Any of you guys have any hidden acting skills by any chance? 

Correction: I need two actors, two actresses and a dead monkey. One of the actresses has no lines, gets to dress like a hooker and play dead.

Plum Story

I woke up one morning a few months ago and found a plum sitting on my bed. Just a single, solitary plum sitting there staring at me. I asked him what he was doing there, but he didn't answer. Plums have a way of doing that. I got up and went to the bathroom to get ready for work and the plum followed me. I tried to ignore it, but it was always there lurking. Ever since then the plum has been following me around. Sometimes I think it has gone away to bug someone else but it always shows back up. I've debated eating the plum, but I don't like the taste. I could try and pawn the plum off on someone else, but that would be unfair to them. So here I am, stuck with a goddamn plum following me around wherever I go and I wish I could get rid of it.

Weekend Movie Reveiw

Every weekend I watch at least one movie, so it occurs to me maybe I should use the blog to review and recommend those films for all of you. Might as well give it a shot, eh? Anyways, this weekend I watched the film Mongol. It is a fairly new release and I had wanted to see it when it was out in theaters, but never found the motivation to find where it was playing and go see it. I'm kind of glad I didn't. Anyways, this film follows Ghengis Khan through his childhood to him uniting the Mongols. It was a very beatifully filmed movie, but totally didn't do it for me. 

The film was fairly slow moving, but it is easy to deal with, since it was a beautiful film. It's best quality, I think, was the time it took to show the beauty of the scenery the film took place in. My main problem with the film was that everything about it was ridiculously unrealistic. It had a spiritualist message that it constantly hit you over the head with, which really annoyed the hell out of me, and the battle sequences played more like a martial arts film then a non-fiction drama. Look, this wasn't a bad movie, and is worth watching, but these were just the little things that annoy me about it. So, I guess I would recommend this movie, but don't expect anything all that original or spectacular. It is a very pretty film, though, so get it on Blu-Ray if you have one and watch it on a big screen. 

So, what do y'all think? Should this be a regular thing?

Wow!

It looks like I live in a blue state: link

Just goes to show you what a wacky election this was. A black guy won the majority of votes in North Carolina. I guess all us transplanted yanks are doing something good down here. 

Something we all enjoy

And no I am not talking about a handjob. I am actually talking about Siena Men's basketball. Its getting to be about that time of year again. I've started to do some reasearch and the men are playing some tough temas this year. Games against ranked teams such as Tennessee, Georgetown, Pitt, Kansas and others await. But Siena was ranked #1 in the MAAC by the coaches and Kenny Hasbrook is the pre-season MVP. Also, College inside has ranked Siena #5 in the country among mid-major conferences and Kenny as the MVP of the mid-majors (although I think it'd be Stephen Curry). Also we got 13 points in the preseason top 25 poll.

I know its only pre-season rankings, but things look good this year and we can watch the Saints in teh tourney again in 2009 when we conviene in Houston. Let's Go Saints!!!

Someone has to comment on this...

...and it may as well be me. It has been official for a while now. Us American participants of this blog have a new president. Now, seeing as how I write on a blog, I must automatically assume that everyone needs my opinion on this, so here it is. Obviously, this was an historic election, as we finally break our streak of old white guys running our country. The way I figure it, this can't be a bad thing. Hopefully it will encourage a whole generation of minorities to become more involved in politics and push some of these cynical, greedy bastards out. So, what about Obama, specifically? Well, I'm really not sure. The past 8 years have really fucked things up royally, and I'm not sure how successful anyone could be in turning that around. I do like the guy, though. He seems to be genuinely intellectually honest and capable, but I'm afraid he's going to be under fire from the start and beaten down, with Republicans picking up some of their lost seats during the midterm election and sending us back into partisan inefficiency. Well, at least this election is a good sign that this country is finally becoming more socially progressive. And if a black man can get elected president, maybe one day an atheist can, too. Eh, who am I kidding? That ain't gonna happen in my lifetime.

Hello???

Hello, is anyone out there??? I realize I do not post too often, but does anyone read this anymore? Does anyone other than Kevin take the time to make posts? And how about the Animal Survival Contest? That generated a ton of posts and replies. Let's get back to completing it. What is going on with you people?

The problem with pandas

Anyone have a small dining room table for me? I'll give you a magical rock for it that will grant you one wish. I wished for a pet talking panda, which was a very bad idea. Pandas may be cute, but they are mean little bastards. And you know what? They aren't that little, either. Now I have a 400 pound panda locked in my bathroom, yelling that he's going to rip out my throat and feast on my intestines. And he expects me to open the door for him? I figure another couple of days and the panda will be weak enough, from lack of food, for me to sneak in there and hit him in the head with a hammer. That leads to another problem, though. What do you do with the corpse of a talking panda? I'm thinking bbq.