Holy Crap!

This is a fun little article about a girl who had her feet sliced off on a ride at Six Flags in Kentucky. It was on the Superman Tower of Power ride. Evidently a wire snapped or something and sliced both of her feet off at the ankle. What did she expect, though? The ride was made for Superman, not for some non invulnerable little girl. That'll learn her. The thing that makes this story perfect is the quote from a witness of the accident, proving beyond any doubt that this was actually Kentucky:

"I seen the car go up. Then, like, the cable broke ... and I heard a lot of people screaming," Chris Stinnett, who was at a ride next to the Tower of Power, told CNN affiliate WDRB/WMYO-TV in Louisville.
"The cable went under the car -- and I seen it pull up and hit a lot of people -- and I seen them bring their legs up," he said

Yup, he seen it.

Addition:

After posting this, I decided to write a poem describing Mr. Stinnett's ordeal:

Alas, I seen the horror of the ride,
I seen innocence know not where to hide.
I seen the horror with these eyes of mine,
I seen my solace in a bottle of moonshine.

It's a good poem because it starts with "Alas". I learned that from Shakespeare.