Sunday, June 29, 2008
So, here's my question to y'all: If the dead start to rise and feast on the living, where are you going to go?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I am Mikey. It's 11:50 p.m. on Thursday June 26th and I have 9 minutes to make my post. I've worked the last 2 days, and tonight I played kickball. We lost 15-0 to the best team in the league in the playoffs. I have to make a post tonight in order to stay in this contest. It has come down to me, Kev (whoops, I mean mummy hitler), and Kris. I am drunk and don't feel creative. However, I am a fun time. I am not going to post a great story, but rather I am going to rely on my previous posts, and my future amazing posts to get your vote. I ask you:
Do you really want Me, Kris or Kev (uhhh I mean Mummy Hitler)) to be your new blogger??? I am hoping your mind speaks true, and you vote Mikey. Otherwise you can continue to read about exciting bike stories.
P.S. I made out with a smoking hot 20 year old tonight. To hear more, vote Mikey O-O-OOOO
Now, I went to a local movie rental place to choose a film reel to rent. Boy, was I shocked to find out that the talkies are now on what are called DVDs! Imagine, a movie on a small round record type thing! And they are in color! Look, I'm old! I have been dead for over 60 years, so I don't know these things! This shtick will never not be funny! Anyways, after browsing around the store for a while, I decided on the film: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Server. I chose this movie because I am, in fact, very interested in ballistics and thought I would see what the 21st century held in this field. Seeing as how I had no way to watch the film that is stored on this DVD, I had to go over to Mummy Lincoln's cabin. He's all into this, what he calls, "tech revolution". Ah, he's a dick, but I need him for his toys. Anyways, I watched this film, and I must say, I now see just how wrong I was to send the Jews and social miscreants to concentration camps. I see now that the real evil in this world is the completely asinine fuckwads that make films like this. Those are the people I should have focused on killing! Fuck, if only I killed the parents of the makers of this movie before they could procreate, I would have left the world a better place.
That's my review! I hope you all enjoyed it! And remember, everything was better in the 1930s! Everything! Even the exclamation points!
Three weeks ago I was in my car stopped at a stop light when someone rear ended me. We pulled off to the side of the road and, not knowing the current price of car repairs, I called the police so someone could come out and we could file an accident report. On the phone I was then informed that the police in Houston don't come out to accident scenes if both cars are drivable, regardless of what the damage amount might be. They said that both parties HAD to come in to the police station and file a report within 24 hours if the damage was over $1000. (In every other state I have lived in you have to file a police report if the damage is over $500). I asked the police officer on the phone if both parties had to come in together and he said no. Then I asked what happened if only one party filed a police report and the other didn't. He said he didn't know.
So, being a good, responsible person I collected the other driver's information (including what looked like a valid insurance policy) and went directly to the police station to file a report. When I walked in the door I told the officer at the desk that I needed to file an accident report and he handed me a blue form, told me to fill it out within 10 days, and send it to the state police headquarters in Austin. That was it.
Immediately, when I got home, I called the driver's insurance company to file a claim. I set up an estimate for that afternoon so that I could get the ball rolling. Later that afternoon I had an estimate done on my car and the estimate was under $500 so I was unable to file an accident report. I say unable because the blue form clearly states that you are to ONLY file an accident report if the damage is over $1000.
It has now been three weeks since the accident and I have not been able to have my car fixed. The reason why I have not been able to have my car fixed is that 1) The insurance company claims they have been unable to contact the driver and 2) The insurance company said that the driver may have been uninsured at the time of the accident. I asked the insurance company how she could have been uninsured. What they said is that she hadn't paid her premiums yet. So despite having an insurance card saying her policy was valid through Sept. 2008, it turns out that she didn't have insurance, which is illegal.
I decided to call the police and let them know that I had been in an accident with an apparently uninsured driver. I told them I had all of her information and asked if I needed to report the accident. In talking with the police I was informed that it was common practice to get an insurance card, then not pay the premiums, and that as long as the driver had an insurance card that stated they had insurance it didn't really matter if it was valid or not.
This is such utter and complete bullshit. I now know why my insurance premiums are over twice what they were in Kansas for less than 1/3 the coverage. It is because the police don't seem to actually care about enforcing traffic laws, or for that matter immigration laws because the majority of the uninsured drivers are illegal.
I FUCKING HATE THIS CITY!!!
PS The Tour de France starts July 5th with the first stage leaving from Brest!!!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
And more important, does our blog need an oath?
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I don't know if it is an increase in sensitivity to the topic, or an increase in the number of incidents, but this year I have heard about more cyclists getting hit or harrassed by cars. In California this year a sheriff's deputy pulled into three cyclists riding on a should on the other side of the road. Two of the three were killed. In the past two weeks I have heard of three different incidents involving cyclists getting hit by cars who failed to follow basic traffic laws in regard to the interaction of cars and bicycles. With the increase in gas prices more and more people are riding bikes instead of driving cars. I think this is great, but there needs to be an increase in awareness that not only do cyclists have legal right to be on the road (some drivers are not aware of this), but that drivers need to be on the lookout for cyclists.
I know first hand the dangers of drivers not being alert to the presense of cyclists. In February of this year, my mom and I were riding on a road in Texas. We were obeying all the laws of the roads and were preparing to make a left hand turn. After to checking to see that the left lane was clear and signaling, we changed lanes. By the time my mom changed lanes, a driver who was driving too fast came around a corner and hit my mom. He said that she had pulled in front of her, but I know that she had been in the lane before he reached the point she was at. I think the true issue was that he was not looking for a cyclist on the road and didn't expect her to be there. My mom is now okay, but it is terrifying to see your mother life flighted to a hospital due to head trama.
As drivers out on the roads we need to be aware that cyclists are out there and when they tangle with cars, no matter who is at fault, the cyclist usually ends up seriously injured. So please watch out for cyclists while you are driving because they have equal rights to the road.
At least in Texas we have concealed carry so I just pull my Walther PPK out when I feel like a car is encroaching on my personal space.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Seeing how the porn route did not win I have found the only way to completely dominate this contest.
Yes thank you, thank you. I know you've all missed my sometimes zany sometimes blog provoking posts. I've missed you all as well. Now that Latroy Hawkins has started sucking less, my powers have been restored. Onto my post...
...Everyone once in a while when I have nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon and pull out my 1 ft tobacco pipe, pack it full with some of that stickky ikkky tobacco and let it rip. Then I find some reason why I have to walk into town. I mean, who wants to sit inside when its so beautiful out??? So today I had to run (walk) to the bank and CVS, So on I went...
...After walking about a mile I arrived at the bank with my mission. Deposit 4 checks into someone else's account. Surprising the mission went extremely successful. But then a snag. I reach into my wallet and ask her for 20 singles for a $20.
Now have a magic dragon moment with me here and completely change subject. This poor little 18 year old teller thinks some creepy older guy is getting 20 singles to go to the strip club. But in actuality I am going to Lebanon Valley tonight and they only take singles for food and drinks.
So after the weird look she gives me my change and as I turn around their is my aunt! And I hate my aunt! So I just walked right by her and left. That's when I remembered I don't live in Albany anymore. I live near my family. Gotta be more careful. I ran into my grandparents at A&P one afternoon. Not in the best mental frame, but they are 86 and don't notice anyway. I love my grandparents, they rock!
Next I went to CVS to get Nicorette since I am quitting smoking (7 days and going strong) and the girl goes to grab it and she's on crutches. The package falls on the floor and she has to balance her 1 cruth and try to pick it up without falling over. I felt so horrible. But finally I am home and safe.
Next week I am going to a high school graduation party for 2 of my friends sisters followed by a night out in Poughkeepsie for real women's roller derby. Vote for Mikey to read more adventures next week.
So, I was surfing the internet and found this site called eskimotube.com which I figure would come in handy for everybody in certain times. It is great and lets you search by name for all of your favorites. I know this is kind of cheap in the view that it is all about naked chicks and their movie scenes but I had to really bring down the gayness around here from that bicycle dudes ass.
I also just found out that if you go to google maps and punch in your address you can get a street view picture of your own house. It is kind of freaky when you first start using it however, I now find myself looking around for naked people and prostitutes all over the place. If only I knew where there was a nude beach cause this could come in really handy.
Since Kev stated this is a popularity contest I figure that a guy that is the mumified remains of a gay nazi trying to take over the world while hiding the fact he was gay would win. After all I believe he already has Kev's vote just on name recognition alone plus the fact that he sleeps with Satan on South Park.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
If you allow me to, I would like to share the everyday experiences of a former great dictator as he tries to acclimate himself into a society from which he has been absent for more than a half century. Now, I know you all may be wary to let someone who is responsible for the extermination of millions of innocent men women and children post on your precious blog, but don't we all have some skeletons in our closet? None of us are perfect. I am trying to better myself. I am seeing a psychiatrist regularly and am working through some of my issues. His name is Dr. Feingold. That's right, he's a Jew, and I haven't even tried to have him killed yet! I am growing! Sure, I still am struck by the occasional murderous rage, but I'm a mummy! It's normal! Also, I am filled with hate for everything around me but I'm Hitler! You can't expect me to change overnight, can you? Besides, there is so much to hate in this world, all I ask is for you to let me share it with you. Well, I will stop taking up your time. Just please vote for me so that I may continue to post in the future. And if you don't, I will find you and I will crush you in my heavily bandaged hands! I will spill your blood upon your just cleaned carpet and shit on your bed! You are all dirty, filthy vermin which I will exterminate if you cross me! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
I kid! I kid! Really, I'm over that kind of irrational hatred.
Just don't push me...
I'm still waiting for Poughkeepsie to join the list as well
Did you ever get anywhere in looking at video editing software? My department is forcing all the faculty to record and post on the University website videos talking about our research and teaching. They are filmed by the department IT guy, and they are universally awful. Just horrific. People reading off cue cards without looking at the camera. Or else babbling on for several minutes about shit nobody else in the world cares about. Ugh. So, I've decided to film and edit my own and give it to them.
But I need editing software. Just something simple to help me cut up WMVs or AVIs, and maybe layer on some text and an audio track. Any good suggestions? Free is great, but I'm not above piracy to try out an expensive package.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
What I find amusing is that the UCI (the cyclist union) will likely do nothing about this incident because:
anti-doping officials say the rider will not face suspension since use of the drug is not specifically banned except in competition.
The reason why this is so amusing is because at the same time Boonen takes only a slap on the wrist (and not even from the UCI) the UCI has instated a rule that any rider whose biological tests return even slightly questionable values will not be allowed to start a race:
In some ways this all makes perfect sense, but it is still kind of amusing that you can have your career taken away from you for getting a blood transfusion (2 year suspension for doping), or better yet be fired from your team and pulled from the yellow jersey (first place) in the TdF for failing to tell someone where you are at all times, but have very little punishment (even from the law) for using an illegal drug out of competition. I’m not saying I disagree with how things turned out. I don’t want cycling full of doping and I don’t really care what the people do in their spare time, but I just find it interesting that people are trying to clean up the image of cycling and don’t take a stand on out of competition drug use.
“Under the new “no start” rule, riders may be prevented from starting a race for a period of 15 days if blood test results show an anomaly compared with values recorded previously in the biological passport.”
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
- Curse jar. However, I'm usually broke to begin with.
- Negative reinforcement. Maybe a thick rubber band that I snap whenever I say something I'm not supposed to.
- Positive reinforcement. Blowjob for every day I don't swear? Point to consider: wife is not on board with this plan.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Also, on this day in 1940, Norway surrendered to Nazi Germany. Oh, Norway! You so crazy! So DrX, stay away from Norwegians and Nazis today. Hope you are doing something fun and exciting! Have some cake. Cake is yummy, unless it has coconut. I hate coconut. Fuck you coconut!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Now, I know next to nothing about Anna Karina, and have only seen her in a few Godard films, but in those films, she may be the most gorgeous woman who ever lived. And, I know, she was born in Denmark, but a majority of her films were French and lived most of her life there. I think she's still alive, but she's old and I don't really care about her anymore. OK, so maybe there are a lot of problems with my choice here, and maybe I just wanted an excuse to make the blog a lot better looking by posting the above picture. And I know Fish will yell at me for this one, too. Oh well. Anna Karina was ridiculously beautiful, so I win.