Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Fuck cursing

So, my daughter is now old enough that she's clearly understanding some language. Therefore, unless I want her to talk like me, I need to stop cursing. This is hard for me. I don't even fucking realize I'm doing it. See? See? Any suggestions on how to knock this shit off? Ideas:
  • Curse jar. However, I'm usually broke to begin with.
  • Negative reinforcement. Maybe a thick rubber band that I snap whenever I say something I'm not supposed to.
  • Positive reinforcement. Blowjob for every day I don't swear? Point to consider: wife is not on board with this plan.
Other ideas?

7 comments:

kevthegreat said...

Here's what I did to kick heroin: Everytime I had the urge to ride the horse I would break a finger and focus on the pain. Physical and mental urges are easily drown out by incredible pain. I guess your problem isn't really an urge to swear, though, more of a lack of lack of realization that you are swearing. For this, I think shock treatment is the way to go. Carry a backpack everywhere with you and keep a charged car battery in it with leads attached that are of easy access. Maybe hook those leads up to a switch that is mounted on the outside of the backpack with the output of the switch attached to your nipples. Then put a sign under it saying "Flip switch if I swear". Problem solved.

kevthegreat said...

Seriously, though, don't be one of those guys who replace profanity with cute words that sound kind of like the swear. "Oh, fudge, I do wish that frickin' monkey would stop throwing poop at me." Instead, just don't use adjectives at all. Say something like "I'm going to kill that monkey."

phishbone23 said...

You'll just have to find someone on board with option 3 I think....j/k for those who don't take that as sarcasm.

phishbone23 said...

Also DrX, happy belated, and for anyone who reads this, Demo's is today, so happy b-day to that bastid as well.

Megan said...

Even if I was on board with the plan, how long until Dr X can make it a full day without cursing? Let's face it, he'd just lie and say he hadn't cursed. We could always go with negative reinforcement on this one too.... No BJs until he's made it a month curse-free.....

DrX said...

Quiet, you. No posting on blogs until your thesis is done.

kevthegreat said...

See, the objective should just be not to swear around the baby. You shouldn't stop swearing completely. That would make you lame. So very lame.

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