Sunday, September 21, 2008

He set 'em up, I knock 'em down

DrX: What kind of card does one send to somebody in rehab?
Me: One that can't be smoked?

So, DrX and I have a friend that went into rehab, and we were wondering what would be a good thing to send to him. No packages are allowed, just cards or letters, so sneaking in a hollow cake full of heroin is not a possibility. What does the BFB community think? Does Hallmark make rehab cards?


phishbone23 said...

"Wish you weren't there!", "Get normal soon!", "Happy Born Again Day!", a "Twelve Steps of Christmas" card, or a nice little poem like:

I hear you're stuck inside that cell,
without some drugs - it must be hell.

The day will come for you to see,
that faith will heal - believe in He.

You're a dumbass, who can't be trusted,
you go to rehab to not get busted.

And when you're out, you'll say "I'm back!",
to all your buddies smoking crack.

You'll jones for sure - it's not a joke,
to watch your people snort some coke.

But it's cool - you've got a friend,
just you and Jesus, till the end.

You can toke with Him, He's not a squealer,
because He's Columbian, and your dealer....

I've written better ones, but this is the best I could do on short notice.

Megan said...

Actually, they do... There's a bunch of news articles on the internet about this, linked to cards to celebrate gay marriage. You know, because those are similar topics... I couldn't find a link on the hallmark website, but here are some other rehab cards (unfortunately, not as funny as I'd hoped....)

Megan said...

Although if you search google images for rehab cards, you will find the following phrase written in big red letters "Rehab is for quitters" Just send that....

kevthegreat said...

Very nice poem Fish. A natural disaster has worked wonders on your creativity. You have power yet?