Tuesday, July 8, 2008

This is where I finally post something

I guess I should make a post about my birthday vacation of the past few days, as to fill you all in on my exciting exploits. I arrived in Albany Wednesday afternoon, picked up a rental car and went to visit the parents. I arrived and all the doors to the house were locked and the lights suddenly turned themselves off when I knocked. They must have been on a time delay or something. I decided to wait around for them, but then the cops came and told me that someone called saying that I was harassing people and had to leave or be arrested. So, I slept in my car that night in a Walmart parking lot, but it was ok, because the next day was my birthday!

I woke up in the morning to a homeless man knocking on the window, looking for change. I told him it was my birthday and I'd take him out for breakfast, but he said he had better things to do, and just needed bus fare to get to a doctor's appointment. I offered him a ride there, and to wait for him while he was with the doctor, and then we could hang out or something for my birthday. He must have been afraid to ride in cars or something, because he swore and stomped off, mumbling under his breath.

Anyways, it was my birthday and time to have some fun with all my friends. Unfortunately, there must have been something wrong with my cell phone, and the 5 pay phones I tried using, because nobody I called would answer. I left a bunch of messages for people, and decided to get started and wait for people to meet me out. As any good birthday starts out, I went to church to pray for a good and unsinful day. While praying I decided to tell Jesus about my plane ride and why I don't like coconut and that time I saw a squirrel chasing a dog, and just when I was going to go into my thoughts on tacky carpeting, Jesus suddenly appeared before me! I was amazed! There he was, the son of God standing in front of me! He looked at me and shook his head from side to side and said, "Hey Kevin. Look, I love you and all, I am Jesus after all, but I'm just not in love with you. You know? Maybe you should start talking to other deities out there. I hear Buddha is a good listener. Or maybe you could become an atheist or something? Anyways, just give it a rest a while, I have important things to do, you know?"

That Jesus sure has a good sense of humor, joking around like that with me. I asked him if he wanted to go grab a beer or something for my b'day, but he just swore and stomped off, muttering under his breath. So, anyways, I spent my birthday at the rollerskating rink, waiting for my friends. I don't like to roller skate or anything, but my friends have mentioned it, so I figured they would enjoy it. They must have been really busy, though, because nobody showed up. Well, there's always next year guys!

9 comments:

Mikey OOO said...

I must have been really hammered, because I don't remember any of that. I just rememeber the strippers from your birthday

DrX said...

hmm. One of you guys must have taken something very psychtdopic to have such different accounts of the weekend.

kevthegreat said...

I like mushrooms!

BG said...

Kev, I think you need to fire everyone on here. You left for like 5 days and nobody filled in for you.

And my recollections of your birthday involve me and a strippers phone number.

kevthegreat said...

Yeah, but DrX was on vacation, too, so he gets a pass. Fish is a jerk, though. The guy didn't even call me on my birthday...

Mummy Hitler said...

Sorry, I couldn't post. I was trying to invade Czechoslavakia. Imagine my embarassment when I found out that country doesn't even exist anymore!

Mikey OOO said...

I would have posted, but I don't have that privlige anymore. I guess I know where I stand with Kev. I even drove up to see him on his birthday, but he refused to hang out with me. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME KEVIN!!!

DrX said...

Oh, Mummy Hitler. You so crazy!

DrX said...

And by the way, I am still on vacation. Despite being in the woods in Maine on a lake, my brother-in-law has set up a cell modem and wireless router, and I'm sending this from my iPod. I can read and respond, but can't start my own posts, for some reason... So don't be questioning my blog loyalty, foo.

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