Never Do Favors For Friends.....

Editors note: To start off a, hopefully, long running series, Phishbone has been given the first episode of "Cop Rock" to review. For future reviews, we do take requests.

Recently, I was asked by Kev"thegreat" to review the first episode of an old "Cop show" called Cop Rock. I must say my sarcasm through quotations is pretty dead on in that last statement. This show, by Steven Bochco (LA Law, Hill Street, Doogie Howser, NYPD Blue), is a severe "botch-up". Not only is the entire precinct full of inept cops who seemingly have had no training whatsoever, but the characters also feel compelled to SING!

 If this show was sold more as a comedy, I could get behind this, but unfortunately, the show is way too serious for itself, making it a tragedy of all tragedies. I believe there may have been some sort of useable concept here, but the musical side of it simply falls flat. First off, when I hear it is Cop "Rock", I think "Cool! Who we got? Def leppard? Rolling Stones? I'll even take Aerosmith? But, alas, the answer is.....Randy Newman? Randy friggin Newman....You do not have a friend in me. It was the best gesture of all when Seth Macfarlane killed him in a Family Guy episode.

 Even with no help from Randy Newman, the actors that were tabbed in this episode to sing were more tone deaf than a rock (maybe that's where the title came from). The only one positive thing that I share about this episode is that my 5 month old son seemed to be caught up in the entire episode. I have never seen him completely watch anything. Usually his attention is all over, or at least he naps or plays, but for this show, he stared at it with interest. Maybe Newman had some sort of special sound or note being played all the time that just happens to atttract 5 month olds, or maybe it was the "brown note"....now that I think of it, for my son, it was!

 So there you have it. If I had to rate this it would be 1 out of 5 thumbs up (trust me, I only save zeros anything with a Lohan, Hilton, or Lil Jon), and 1 full diaper from my kiddo. Fish out.

Wednesday Discussion

This blog isn't going to work without a semi-active community of posters and commentators. I don't mind making a majority of the posts, but we at least need some people contributing in the comments. So, in an attempt to make this happen, we will be having a semi-weekly post to try and foster some discussion in the comment section. Please contribute! This is a safe place! This week's discussion:

What do you want to see from this blog? Strictly entertainment? We have 3 guys who are deeply involved in various scientific industries writing here. Would it be interesting to hear about some of that? Any ideas for regular themed posts?

Things to do on a Sunday

As everyone knows, Sundays are a day of rest, thus no blog post from me. If you did something productive yesterday, let me help you out by telling you what you should have been doing. Here is my guide for how to spend a restful Sunday:

A background change

We now have bacon as a background. In all honesty, it kind of makes me slightly ill to look at. It may be because I just ate dinner and am very full, or maybe it's the greasiness of the bacon in the image. Anyways, if anyone has any suggestions for another background, let's hear it. Let's get the comments section of this blog kicking!

Note: This counts as a post. That's 3 straight days. I'm winning by a lot.

A Little About Myself: Part2

I left off on my life's story with me creating a giant hole in the Earth while mining for gold. Unfortunately, any gold I would have been able to salvage was vaporized in the blast. Once I was released from the hospital, my creditors caught up with me and bought me before a court for my outstanding bills related to my mining venture. I had no money or source of income at the time so the judge gave me a choice, either go to prison or join the military. Seeing as I am too pretty for prison, I joined the French military. Little did I know that Europe was about to be engulfed in a great period of seemingly endless conflict.

A Little About Myself

Life has begun anew for this nearly dead blog. With it's resurgence I figured it would be a good idea to reintroduce ourselves to the people of the world. I will leave my two colleagues to introduce themselves, but can give you a brief overview of my background and how it makes me qualified as a blogger. The biggest qualification I have for this off and on hobby is experience. Hopefully my worldly knowledge will help make future posts interesting enough for others to follow this blog.

Bunny to make things all better!

Let's fancy this place up!

The Adventures of John Wilkes Booth

Today I went to the local grocer for fresh produce in order to make a stew of the recently caught rabbit a patron of my art awarded to me. One of my boarders, Boner as he is called, graciously transported me to the store in his peculiar motor carriage which smelled strongly of an odor that reminded me of the hemp rope doll I had in my childhood. Oh, those simpler times do appeal to me more often as I approach the twilight century of my life.

The grocer we arrived at was a monstrosity of concrete and glass, with dozens of townfolk milling about. I entered and approached the nearest individual that was costumed in the clothing of this metropolis of sustenance and told him to fetch me a bundle of carrots, potatoes and milk fresh from teet of the cow. He looked at me blankly and said "Milk is in the back of aisle 3". What was this madness!? I am to fetch my own groceries? Are you not in business to supply me, as the costumer, with your fresh product so that I may be on my way and cook my stew? How am I to know where to find anything in this great space with endless rows of inventory? This is a disgrace! The tyranny of this country knows no bounds! I demand freedom from my grocer oppressors and satisfaction from those employed to serve me! I shall strike down all that defy the great tradition of what this country once was!

I reached for my pistol to teach this whelp a lesson in manors, but while I was lost in my rage, he slipped away. I began to scour the building for this incontinent youngster, until my compatriot, Boner, approached with all of the staples I needed to construct my stew. A good man, that Boner is. We made our way back to the homestead and feasted all night on our delicious stew. I shall not forget my grudge with that grocer boy, but tonight I shall sleep with a full stomach and just dream of my revenge.

-J.W.B.

Possible Boy Names

I was just thinking about some great names for a baby, for some reason... Anyways, I'll start with some boy names I've got (feel free to make suggestions in the comments):

Barron - Even better if you make the middle name "Von"
Barbarian - Who's going to pick on the kid named barbarian? Kids who like their skull crushed with a war ax, that's who.
Dude - Why not? Maybe a little lazy, but it works.
Private - Get the kid used to a military academy from birth!
Cletus - I'm not above naming my kid after cartoon characters.
Chief - Works on multiple levels...
Dandy - Would work best if I went the extra mile and made the kid constantly wear powdered wigs and Victorian clothing.

I reserve the right to continually update this list.

Brain-trust, Assemble!

This is evidently a potential human growing in my girlfriend's body... I guess that there is a small chance it's an alien or a a human/chicken hybrid or something, but most likely just a human. Where's my brain-trust at??? Help!