Happy Holidays!

That's right, I am contributing to the war on Christmas. Everyone, go out and have and celebrate any damn holiday you want, and have lots of fun. I am off to Albany in a couple of hours and staying up there through New Years, so the posts will be lacking for the rest of this year. When I get back I should have lots of pictures from the amazing eating challenge. I believe these are the challenges being attempted this coming week:

20 Taco Bell Tacos (no lettuce) in 1 hour
12 McDonalds Cheeseburgers in 1 hour
40 Chicken McNuggets in one hour
3 Pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in one hour.

And that's just on Wednesday, with possibly more to come on Friday! Gluttony is so Bangladesh! So, please check back in the New Years for a recap.

A new word...

...for a new year (well, not a new word, but a new use for an existing word):

Bangladesh
1. (adj) great; fine; excellent
That hat is totally Bangladesh! I want to make love to it!
2. (verb) kicking ass; being the man; to serve someone in a dance contest
Yo bitch, you just got Bangladeshed!

Gotta post!

I haven't been very good at posting lately so I figure I should throw something old up here. Last June I came across an add on MSN's homepage. I briefly glanced at it and said, "What the fuck am I doing on MSN's main page?! They are taking these personalized ads way too far!"



Then I realized that it wasn't me in the ad, but rather it was Sofia Coppola. Imagine my embarrassment! Then, when I looked at this banner a third time, I realized that I do actually look a lot like Sean Lennon. I mean, he could be my brother in this picture. Hell, he may look more like my brother than my actual brother. Here I am for comparison:



Seriously, it's freaky. I think it's because we have a similar smirk. I am much taller, though, so obviously I'm the sexier man. That, and my dad is still alive, so I win.

Mmmmmmmm

I just got back from lunch at an Indian food buffet at which they had broccoli that was battered and deep fried. It was actually rather tasty as the batter had some good spice to it. Anyways, since this blog is at least sometimes devoted to gluttony, I figured I'd mention it. Also, I came up with a new food challenge. I want to see someone eat an entire Fudgie the Whale in an hour:

A funny thing....

I was walking around campus this past week and I saw an amazingly poignant saying on a button pinned on a girls jacket. I don't know if it was exam stress, but I just felt it was the perfect saying and I had myself a great chuckle and much better day after seeing it. It said:

"I'm surrounded by Mexicans"

It's about time...

...that we had a leader willing to take a firm stance on one of the greatest threats to our lives:

Speaking of Fox News

You just can't beat this caption. I have a feeling that even they have gotten in on the satire of themselves...

A new thing...

This post is where I visit the Fox News website, randomly pick a headline and make up the news story for it. Here we go...

Proposed Ban Could Put Carriages Out to Pasture
Saturday, December 08, 2007

Akron - In a bold move to protect the downtown shopping district, Akron town council members have unanimously voted to ban baby carriages at a town hall meeting last night. It was the first move on the council's agenda to make the town more safe from the threat of Muslim extremists.

Mayor Rick Hatton lead the charge with an impassioned speech at the beginning of the meeting, stressing the dangers of terrorism and the unconventional means with which the Muslim world means to wage war on our freedom.

"We now have a Muslim family living in Bradford County," Hatton told reporters. "The war on terrorism has finally reached our community and we must protect ourselves! I, for one, will not sit idly by while the followers of that heathen religion try to destroy everything we love!"

After reading a news story out of Baghdad, in which a suicide bomber detonated an explosive device hidden in a baby carriage, Hatton new that action must be taken to prevent a similar occurrence in his small town.

"I see women walking around with baby carriages all the time, and nobody ever thinks to search them!" said Hatton. "This must stop! I will not have my town destroyed by negligence on our part. We must get these carriages of death off our streets!"

In place of carriages, Hatton recommends the use of a new product called The Baby Sack, which are sold exclusively at Hatton's General Store on Main Street. The Baby Sack is a durable clear plastic sack and is described to be able to hold up to four babies at once.

"The Baby Sack is the best alternative to those dangerous contraptions of misery (baby cairrages)," said Hatton "They're clear, so we can all see if there is a bomb inside. Babies love them, too! Come get two or three, I'll give you a special deal at Hatton's General Store, where the savings are because I love America!"

Some people disagree with the town council's actions, including the newest resident Satya Salil.

"Everyone has been scared into a frenzy just by me moving in." an obviously angry Salil said. "I'm not even from the Middle East! My parents moved to America from India before I was born. I'm not even Muslim, I'm Hindi!"

Townspeople believe Salil's story is an obvious fake, conceived to cover up his terrorist activities, and have created a neighborhood watch to keep an eye on this dangerous new resident. Only time will tell if the terrorists will win the war with Akron, but it's obvious that the American residents of this small town will not go without a fight.

A Megan Update

From an email I just got from my brother:

Megan is back home now after a 4 day hospital stay. She is able to
walk (slowly) with crutches, and we expect the recovery to take
several weeks. Her pain is manageable, and she can still nurse Mia, so
life is better. Megan is an amazing, strong woman who is determined to
get better as fast as possible, and seeing that I know things are
going to work out fine.

Thanks again to everyone for the cards, flowers, emails, phone calls,
hospital visits, offers to babysit, offers of food, etc etc etc. Her
sister and her family came down yesterday, my sister is here
currently, and Megan's mom will get here this weekend, so we're not
struggling. We feel very lucky to have such a strong support network
that effectively extends nationwide.

Was thinking of good movie ideas.....

Elephants on a Submarine
I "Still" Know Who Killed Me
xXx: State of the State (featuring Tony Hawk)
Godzilla vs. Transformers
Fat People (Michael Moore Documentary)
I Love New York: The Movie
Reno 911: Terry Goes Undercover(s)
Rocky Goes to Princeton
The Matrix 2 (Redone?)

had more but blanking.....feel free to contribute!

Bad news

My brother's (DrX) wife was in a car accident yesterday. Here is an excerpt from his email:

Sorry to mass email bad news, but I wanted everybody to know that Megan was injured in a pretty serious car accident this morning on I805. We're sketchy on the details about exactly what happened, but she was exiting the freeway and swerved to avoid a large plastic igloo-shaped doghouse that was blocking the lane. She lost control of the Corolla and was struck on the driver's side by at least one other car (there was a third involved too, apparently). She has a broken rib or two, her pelvis is fractured in several places, and she has some minor cuts and bruises. Mia was home with me at the time and is fine. It all could have been so much worse, and for that at least we're thankful.

Megan will be in the hospital for a few more days as she recovers. If anyone wants the info of where to send cards or flowers or anything else, send me an email and I'll forward it to you. And I urge you all to contact your congressmen and senators and urge them to support legislation to ban Eskimo dogs from making their homes on highway off-ramps.