Saturday, April 5, 2008

My week in summary

Work, work, work, work, got my NC license, work, work, fought a gang of hobos for a pair of shoes, work, work, work. It was a fairly productive week, but it has left me devitalized. I was once told by an old Native American shaman that to reinvigorate yourself after such a week, you must pray to the Great Turtle to come, then leave out the intestines of a buffalo as a tribute overnight. The next morning, if there are any intestines left, you must strip down naked and wrap yourself in the intestines while dancing and singing the "Turtle God Don't Love Me No More" blues, and try again the next day. But if the intestines are gone, then it is because the Great Turtle came during the night and ate them all, and you must then go out into the surrounding area and look for the vomit of the Great Turtle, which has miraculous healing powers. So, maybe I'll do that.

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