The determination of Easter

For a while I have been wondering how the hell the date of Easter is determined. Sometimes it is in March, other times it is in April. I've recently been told that the answer to this question, and now I will share it with all my loyal readers (both of you). Deep in the depths of the Vatican cellars is a dark room sealed with a huge rock. Every year, starting in March, the Pope sends a special bishop down to sit outside that room and wait, day and night, watching. One day, always in March or April, the giant rock magically moves from the opening of the small room and out walks the zombie corpse of Jesus. Now, there are two things that can happen: If zombie Jesus sees his shadow he gets scared, retreats to his room and there will be two more weeks of winter. If he doesn't see his shadow he will feed on the brains of the bishop and summer will come early! And that day is Easter.