Terrorists Animals

If only we could kill human terrorists as easily as we destroy huge mutant animal terrorists.

Battle of the century!!!

Bears vs. Monkeys.... ON BIKES!!!!!

Adventures at DMV...

I have to go get my NC license tomorrow and am not looking forward to it. I hate the DMV and everything it stands for. There should be a national drivers license. It's not like the traffic laws are all that different from state to state. In fact, I just skimmed over the NC drivers manual and couldn't find a single law different from NY. Why do I have to get a different license, then? It's all the friggin same. Hammer-Bot's list just keeps getting longer and longer.

2nd Gen. Hammer-bot

I figured my first Hammer-bot might need some help crushing all of my enemies, so I decided to make another:

The thing is, this Hammer-Bot is pretty much just a giant metal pussy. When he approaches my enemies he just yells out "DANGER! DANGER!" and kind of flails his arms around randomly. What a dumb Hammer-Bot. It's quite ridiculous, isn't it? Who wants a Hammer-Bot that let's my enemies know it's coming and then can't even swing its hammer in a controlled, accurate way? Maybe I'll teach it to serve me tea...

Hammer-Bot

I decided to show you all my original model Hammer-bot. You know, the robot that will crush my enemies. Well, here is an artistic interpretation of my first edition Robo-hammerer:

Nice!

Keep it up, you crazy fuckers!

Saturday Night...

Here's some mood music for this boring Saturday night.

Crush the Losers!

I think that people who disagree with me are wrong and should be crushed. I prefer to use a hammer, but it sometimes gets me in trouble, and there are more problems in the world than time for one man to hit them with hammers. What is a boy to do? I decided to make a hammering robot that will take on my enemies for me. The problem is that my robot has an inclination for striking children. It must be a bug in his hate code, but I'm too lazy to sort through it all to find the problem. So, my question is, is it really a bad thing to club a couple kids on the head with a hammer if it means also bashing all of your enemies? I say no.

Horrible day

Today was elephant day at work. It was the day that everyone bought in an elephant to follow them around all day and help out. This turned out to be a terrible idea. The elephants wouldn't even fit in any of the doors to get into the building, so they just wandered around outside all day. Then they started drinking beer and fighting, and one stepped on a motorcycle. It was pretty bad. I think one of them stole the change out of my car, too. Damned elephants. I don't think we'll have another elephant day.

Soap boy

The bar of soap cried out to me:
Inside, it said, was trapped a boy.
I grabbed a knife and carved away,
Until a soapy youth remained.
He opened his eyes,
And started to cry,
So I threw him into a river.

There's my poem for this year, a couple days before poetry month. Hope you enjoyed.