Tuesday, August 7, 2007

The second installment....

...of The Greatest Living Director! For the number two choice in our upcoming poll I bring you:

2. Rob Cohen

Mr. Cohen (not to be confused with those hacks Joel and Ethan Coen) has a resume as a director that puts Scorsese to shame. Once again, all I have to do is list the movies this great man has directed, and you will see why he deserves to be one of the top four Greatest Living Directors. First we start with his 1993 movie Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. I know what you're thinking, it's a movie about Bruce Lee's life, anybody could have made that movie and it would have rocked, but could just anyone fill it with a massive amount of sentimentality and over dramatization? I say no! Only one of the greatest directors ever could have!

On to movie number two: Dragonheart. Holy shit, this movie was nominated for an Oscar? It's true! So, obviously it is a spectacular film. Obviously!

Also on Mr. Cohen's resume is The Skulls, a movie about a crazy super secret fraternity that starts to murder people, because they are soooooper secret and that's what soooooooooper secret organizations do, of course. This film was not nominated for an Oscar, for reasons beyond my comprehension.

After The Skulls, Rob created his ultimate masterpiece, one that may never be surpassed in pure excellence. I am of course referring to The Fast and the Furious. Do I really need to add any comment to this movie? We've all seen it and we all are amazed by it. There are fast cars and chicks and Vin Diesel and something about hijacking trucks or whatever. Best. Movie. Ever.

Oh, but after creating such a pure masterpiece of film, Mr. Cohen did not sit back and rest on his previous accomplishments. Right away he reloaded and shat, I mean shot, xXx down the throats of movie goers everywhere, proving once and for all that Vin Diesel may be the greatest actor in Hollywoood. Then, to completely solidify his place in the upper echelon of greatness, he made Stealth. You know, the movie about the plane that flies itself and shoots stuff. Kind of like that episode of Night Rider, when Kit went nuts. How can you go wrong with that premise?

Need I say anymore to make a case for Rob Cohen to be considered the greatest living director? I think not. I will be back to try to make an equally compelling case for the remaining two contestants later this week.

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