Thursday, November 8, 2007

An old story for y'all

He lost his nose due to an infected cut. I was the one who gave him that cut, purely by accident, of course. We were playing basketball and I scrapped the bridge of his nose with a finger nail while coming down with a rebound. If he had just washed it out and used a band aid, he'd still have his nose, but I still felt a little guilty. That is why I made him a prosthetic nose. I made it out of raisins to better simulate the feel of flesh, and didn't perceive the problems that would come from such a choice of material.

I presented him the nose and he was thrilled to have it. It fit perfectly in the hole that was still left in the middle of his face from the surgery. It was a brilliant piece of workmanship, I must say, and looked spectacularly real. He decided to take it out for a test run in the park and ran out the door with excitement. During the stroll he was the happiest I had seen him since the operation. His mood quickly changed, however, when we came upon a gaggle of crows. They must have been starving because as soon as they saw that big raisin nose sitting on his face they went wild. There must have been 50 or 60 of those bastards swooping down from the sky, pecking and clawing at his face as I looked on in horror, knowing not what to do. Finally the raisin nose was devoured, the crows lost interest and flew away. I rushed my friend to the hospital. He was lucky the damage was not more severe. Both eyes had been gouged badly and could not be saved, but all other damage was superficial in nature. I wonder how well grapes would work as prosthetic eyes...

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