Hi everyone! I am starting my live blogging experience a little early. I figure I should start when all of the pregame nonsense starts. I'll start a new post when the game is about to start, but for now, welcome to my pre-game live blogging of fun excitement happy time! Feel free to leave comments!
12:05 See, this is how it'll work. Anytime I post something new I'll put the time I wrote it, followed by my witty remarks. Yay!
12:06 Just saw the first commercial of the day featuring a Manning. The over/under on this for the day is 5,324. Any takers?
12:08 ESPN is showing a little piece on Bill Belichick's navy guy father, and they interview Bill Belichick during it. No big deal, right? Well, he just happens to have a giant cold sore on his upper lip. Hahaha, Belichick has herpes! Herpes-man! Can't they cover that thing up with make-up?
12:15 Ok, there are still over 6 hours to go until the game starts, so I'm gonna start pacing myself with the comments. I also still have to go buy some beer, so I'll be back to post later.
1:31 Just went to the grocery store with my Giants jersey on (Phil Simms baby!) and I'm pretty sure I saw Belichick videotaping me the whole time. Damn you Belichick! Damn you! Also, kickoff is probably around 6:30 depending on the length of all the bullshit. It may actually start tomorrow.
1:36 The difference between Giants fans and Pats fans: Pats fans dress their dogs in a Pats jersey and takes them to games. A Giants fan gets drunk before the game even starts and forgets that they bought the dog with them until they get back to the car after the game and find it frozen solid. Then they laugh and eat babies. That's right! Us Giants fans are evil!
1:51 You're probably wondering what I have to eat for Super Bowl Sunday. Well, let me tell ya. I have some nachos and cheese, some cheddar & sour cream chips, some pizza rolls, and I'm currently making some bacon cheese burgers with onion rolls. I also have some mac&cheese
if I so choose. And my drink of choice? I have a 12-pack of Newcastle. Let the gluttony and drunkenness begin!
2:26 When I think of football, the first name that comes to mind is Ryan Seacrest. Good thing Fox got him to interview the "celebrities and musicians" as they enter the stadium! Who cares about the game? There are celebrities around! Maybe Paris Hilton will show her vagina!
2:57 Frank Caliendo still isn't funny.
3:16 There's a red carpet for celebrities entering the stadium. Yeah, great, because this is all about them. By the way, Larry Fishburne is pretty fat right now. And holy shit, the Fox pregame may be the worst 5 hours of television ever recorded. I need more beer.
3:33 When my beard starts to go gray, will I shave it, dye it, or let it be? This is a question that haunts me at night...
3:38 Who the fuck is Sara Evans, and I thought Willie Nelson was dead. I kid! Willie is alright in my book. Good thing they let him play for an entire forty seconds before getting back to Seacrest. And seriously, who the fuck is Sara Evans?
3:50 Fox has a business channel? Let me guess how it goes: "Economy is fine! It's going great! Everything is good! But, if you elect a democrat to office, not only are we all going to be slaughtered by terrorists, but the stock market will collapse and the Japanese will buy our country and force us all to eat raw fish!"
3:54 Hugh Laurie is in the wrong place. He's too damn classy for this pregame. I'm not being sarcastic. He actually seems like a really cool guy.
4:11 Once again, Frank Caliendo is still not funny.
4:20 You kids like to party?
4:22 Paula Abdul is really bad at lip syncing. There are still two hours until the game and I've
already lost my will to live. Maybe some pizza rolls will help...
4:35 Pizza rolls did help. Better than Valium!
4:50 Carlos Mencia is doing another commercial? Are you fucking kidding me? How long before that no talent hack finally can't find any more work? Is Dane Cook gonna be in a commercial, too? I can only hope.
4:59 I don't know if it's just the pants and camera angle, but Alicia Keys seems to have the hips of an 800 pound woman. That kind of freaks me out. This is probably better than any other musical act that will be on tonight, giant destroyer of planet hips and all. By the way, how do they determine who gets to be on the field during the musical acts? Are they chosen from the stands, or are they only there for the musical act, then they get kicked out? Hopefully they get kicked out. They seem like assholes. All of them.
5:06 John Travolta is at the game. Seacrest should ask him about Scientology. That should be the subject of every interview all of those Scientology asshats do from now on. Let the people know their fucking insane ideas.
5:15 Oh fuck! It just dawned on me that I have to listen to fucking Joe Buck for this entire game. God dammit! I hate that motherfucker!
5:25 Pam Oliver, I love ya, but a leopard print shirt on the day of the biggest game of the year? Really?
5:30 Ok, I just realized that I commented on the fashion choice of a sideline reporter on Super Bowl Sunday. Now, to compensate I have to do something manly, like take a shot of whiskey while riding a horse through a bunch of cactus while having sex with a Russian whore. I'll get on that.
5:58 Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but I now hate The Declaration of Independence. Come back Britain! I'm going to start a new post now for the Super Bowl, which may start today.