Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Almost an anniversary!

October 14th is the two year anniversary of me getting fired from my first full time job. The reason, I was told, was that I am not a "team player". Now, for the last two years I've thought of comebacks to this, that I didn't think of at the time. See, at the time I used reason and logic to show that this was bullshit, but now I realize I would have felt better if I just used one of these witty comebacks:

1. "I'm not a team player? That's not what your mom said last night when I was triple teaming her with a midget and a donkey! Get it? Your mom's a whore! I'm out!"

2. "Your face isn't a team player! Because you're ugly! And your ugliness scares people! I'm out!"

3. "I may not be a team player, but at least I slept with your wife! She was ok... I'm out!"

See, when getting fired and using a snappy comeback, you have to end it with "I'm out!" and then walk out the door, never to be seen again. That's how it works folks. Anyone got any other snappy comebacks that readers can use if they find themselves in a similar situation?


phishbone23 said...

"Team player??? I'm like the Michael Vick of this team....I'm out" (would've been better then)

Greencookie said...

"I'M NOT A TEAM PLAYER?? HERE CATCH" *throws the coffee mug at boss like its a football. Then a hard tackle to the ribs knocking him unconscious. " I'M OUT...BITCH"