As a Batter Fried Bacon exclusive I give you my first ever blog interview with the made up person, Frank Yittles. This interview took place over a series of nonexistent emails not made over a period of three days. Enjoy!
Kev: Good afternoon Frank. Let's start off with you telling all the regular BFB readers a little about yourself.
Frank: Well, my name is Frank Yittles, and I am a Chief Assurance Executive for a rather large transportation company.
Kev: Very good. Now tell me, why do you hate America?
Frank: I'm sorry, I don't understand the question. I don't hate America, I love it here. I am a rich white man, why would I hate this country?
Kev: Tell me about the charges of bestiality that have been leveled against you by PETA.
Frank: Are you kidding me? I've never been accused of bestiality by anyone. Are you sure you have the right guy?
Kev: If you're so innocent, then you won't have a problem telling me where you were last Thursday at 4PM.
Frank: I was at work, just like every other weekday at 4PM. In fact I was in a meeting with 12 other people.
Kev: Then how do you explain this photo of you, taken at exactly 4:03PM on Thursday:
Frank: First of all, that's a drawing, not a photo. Second, I'm not a giant cartoon Ape. Where are you going with this?
Kev: Is that, or is it not, your hat on that Ape?
Frank: It's a cartoon. I don't own any cartoon hats. So, no, it's not my hat.
Kev: I rest my case.
Tune in for part II of this interview at a future time!