Michelangelo Antonioni has died at 94 years old. Antonioni was a much respected Italian director and it's been a rough week in Europe. I personally have only seen two of his films (Blowup and L' Avventura) but enjoyed them both. I would highly recommend seeing these two films right after you deplete your Ingmar Bergman film queue. I'm going to include a trailer for L' Avventura here, because I find it very funny. It makes the movie out to be a porno, which it totally isn't. It is a very beautifully shot film, but don't rent it expecting much t&a.
Update:
Once again, Roger Ebert has a great essay on the deceased here.
Correction:
I have actually seen 3 Antonioni films, the third being The Passenger. I don't know why I forgot this film, because I loved it when I saw it. This is the one to rent if you've never watched an Antonioni film before. Hey, it's got Jack Nicholson, how bad could it be?
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Inspirational lyrics for the day.....
Man, I need to stop B.S.-ing myself.
These lyrics are from Atmosphere's Aesop Rock called "No Regrets". Enjoy!!
Lucy was seven and wore a head of blue barettes
City born, into this world with no knowledge and no regrets
Had a piece of yellow chalk with which she'd draw upon the street
The many faces of the various locals that she would meet
There was Joshua, age ten
Bully of the block
Who always took her milk money at the morning bus stop
There was Mrs. Crabtree and her poodle
She always gave a wave and holler on her weekly trip down to the bingo parlor
And she drew
Men, women, kids, sunsets, clouds
And she drew
Skyscrapers, fruit stands, cities, towns
Always said hello to passers-by
They'd ask her why she passed her time
Attachin' lines to concrete
But she would only smile
Now all the other children living in or near her building
Ran around like tyrants, soaking up the open fire hydrants
They would say "Hey little Lucy, wanna come jump double dutch?"
Lucy would pause, look, grin and say "I'm busy, thank you much."
Well, well, one year passed
And believe it or not
She covered every last inch of the entire sidewalk,
And she stopped-"Lucy, after all this, you're just giving in today?"
She said: "I'm not giving in, I'm finished," and walked away
1 2 3
That's the speed of the seed
A B C
That's the speed of the need
You can dream a little dream
Or you can live a little dream
I'd rather live it
Cuz dreamers always chase
But never get it
Lucy was thirty-seven, and introverted somewhat
Basement apartment in the same building she grew up in
She traded in her blue barettes for long locks held up with a clip
Traded in her yellow chalk for charcoal sticks
And she drew
Little Bobby who would come to sweep the porch
And she drew
The mailman, delivered everyday at four
Lucy had very little contact with the folks outside her cubicle day
But she found it suitable, and she liked it that way
She had a man now: Rico, similar, hermit
They would only see each other once or twice a week on purpose
They appreciated space and Rico was an artist too
So they'd connect on Saturdays to share the pictures that they drew
Now every month or so, she'd get a knock upon the front door
Just one of the neighbors,
Actin' nice, although she was a strange girl, really
Say, "Lucy, wanna join me for some lunch?"
Lucy would smile and say "I'm busy, thank you much."
And they would make a weird face the second the door shut
And run and tell their friends how truly crazy Lucy was
And Lucy knew what people thought but didn't care
Cuz while they spread their rumors through the street
She'd paint another masterpiece
1 2 3
That's the speed of the seed
A B C
That's the speed of the need
You can dream a little dream
Or you can live a little dream
I'd rather live it
Cuz dreamers always chase
But never get it
Lucy was eighty-seven, upon her death bed
At the senior home, where she had previously checked in
Traded in the locks and clips for a head rest
Traded in the charcoal sticks for arthritis, it had to happen
And she drew no more, just sat and watched the dawn
Had a television in the room that she'd never turned on
Lucy pinned up a life worth's of pictures on the wall
And sat and smiled, and looked each one over, just to laugh at it all
No Rico, he had passed, 'bout five years back
So the visiting hours pulled in a big flock o' nothin'
She'd never spoken once throughout the spanning of her life
Until the day she leaned forward, grinned and pulled the nurse aside
And she said:
"Look, I've never had a dream in my life,
Because a dream is what you wanna do, but still haven't pursued.
I knew what I wanted, and did it 'til it was done,
So I've been the dream that I wanted to be since day one!"
Well, the nurse jumped back,
She'd never heard Lucy even talk,
'Specially words like that
She walked over to the door, and pulled it closed behind
Then Lucy blew a kiss to each one of her pictures
And she died.
1 2 3
That's the speed of the seed
A B C
That's the speed of the need
You can dream a little dream
Or you can live a little dream
I'd rather live it
Cuz dreamers always chase
But never get it
These lyrics are from Atmosphere's Aesop Rock called "No Regrets". Enjoy!!
Lucy was seven and wore a head of blue barettes
City born, into this world with no knowledge and no regrets
Had a piece of yellow chalk with which she'd draw upon the street
The many faces of the various locals that she would meet
There was Joshua, age ten
Bully of the block
Who always took her milk money at the morning bus stop
There was Mrs. Crabtree and her poodle
She always gave a wave and holler on her weekly trip down to the bingo parlor
And she drew
Men, women, kids, sunsets, clouds
And she drew
Skyscrapers, fruit stands, cities, towns
Always said hello to passers-by
They'd ask her why she passed her time
Attachin' lines to concrete
But she would only smile
Now all the other children living in or near her building
Ran around like tyrants, soaking up the open fire hydrants
They would say "Hey little Lucy, wanna come jump double dutch?"
Lucy would pause, look, grin and say "I'm busy, thank you much."
Well, well, one year passed
And believe it or not
She covered every last inch of the entire sidewalk,
And she stopped-"Lucy, after all this, you're just giving in today?"
She said: "I'm not giving in, I'm finished," and walked away
1 2 3
That's the speed of the seed
A B C
That's the speed of the need
You can dream a little dream
Or you can live a little dream
I'd rather live it
Cuz dreamers always chase
But never get it
Lucy was thirty-seven, and introverted somewhat
Basement apartment in the same building she grew up in
She traded in her blue barettes for long locks held up with a clip
Traded in her yellow chalk for charcoal sticks
And she drew
Little Bobby who would come to sweep the porch
And she drew
The mailman, delivered everyday at four
Lucy had very little contact with the folks outside her cubicle day
But she found it suitable, and she liked it that way
She had a man now: Rico, similar, hermit
They would only see each other once or twice a week on purpose
They appreciated space and Rico was an artist too
So they'd connect on Saturdays to share the pictures that they drew
Now every month or so, she'd get a knock upon the front door
Just one of the neighbors,
Actin' nice, although she was a strange girl, really
Say, "Lucy, wanna join me for some lunch?"
Lucy would smile and say "I'm busy, thank you much."
And they would make a weird face the second the door shut
And run and tell their friends how truly crazy Lucy was
And Lucy knew what people thought but didn't care
Cuz while they spread their rumors through the street
She'd paint another masterpiece
1 2 3
That's the speed of the seed
A B C
That's the speed of the need
You can dream a little dream
Or you can live a little dream
I'd rather live it
Cuz dreamers always chase
But never get it
Lucy was eighty-seven, upon her death bed
At the senior home, where she had previously checked in
Traded in the locks and clips for a head rest
Traded in the charcoal sticks for arthritis, it had to happen
And she drew no more, just sat and watched the dawn
Had a television in the room that she'd never turned on
Lucy pinned up a life worth's of pictures on the wall
And sat and smiled, and looked each one over, just to laugh at it all
No Rico, he had passed, 'bout five years back
So the visiting hours pulled in a big flock o' nothin'
She'd never spoken once throughout the spanning of her life
Until the day she leaned forward, grinned and pulled the nurse aside
And she said:
"Look, I've never had a dream in my life,
Because a dream is what you wanna do, but still haven't pursued.
I knew what I wanted, and did it 'til it was done,
So I've been the dream that I wanted to be since day one!"
Well, the nurse jumped back,
She'd never heard Lucy even talk,
'Specially words like that
She walked over to the door, and pulled it closed behind
Then Lucy blew a kiss to each one of her pictures
And she died.
1 2 3
That's the speed of the seed
A B C
That's the speed of the need
You can dream a little dream
Or you can live a little dream
I'd rather live it
Cuz dreamers always chase
But never get it
Iron Sheik!
Ingmar Bergman is good and all. I guess. But the single greatest entertainer of our time is, without a doubt, the Iron Sheik!
Monday, July 30, 2007
The death of cinema
One of the greatest filmmakers died today. Ingmar Bergman lived a long life and died at 89 years old. I'll probably add onto this post with a mini tribute when I get home tonight, but for now IMDB does a good job of summing up his career:
http://www.imdb.com/news/flash/2007-07-30/flash/1
Update 1:
I thought this interview, with Dick Cavett, was pretty good at summing up Ingmar Bergman's approach to film making:
Update 2:
I also want to post one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies. This is a dream sequence of the main character, Professor Borg, in the movie Wild Strawberries. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching the entire film.
Update 3:
Here is a great article by Roger Ebert: link
http://www.imdb.com/news/flash/2007-07-30/flash/1
Update 1:
I thought this interview, with Dick Cavett, was pretty good at summing up Ingmar Bergman's approach to film making:
Update 2:
I also want to post one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies. This is a dream sequence of the main character, Professor Borg, in the movie Wild Strawberries. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching the entire film.
Update 3:
Here is a great article by Roger Ebert: link
Friday, July 27, 2007
Blogging Block?
In case you haven't noticed, I have no idea what to write lately. People, help me out, ask some questions! Anything at all! Why do I have a feeling this is going to fail miserably?
bloggerfriedbacon@yahoo.com
bloggerfriedbacon@yahoo.com
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Cheerful Philosophical Rantings
I've been rummaging through some of the stuff on my laptop, trying to save anything I want to keep before it dies on me. I have lot's of writings on there, and I thought I'd share one since I have nothing exciting to post tonight. Read and discuss, or I'll brain you with a chair leg:
Life must be miserable for us, otherwise we would have no urge to make it better for others. A happy life is a selfish life. A person who is truly happy contributes nothing to society. They are fulfilled in their happiness and are strongly resistant to any change. Any change for the better can only come from the discontent people who cannot stand to see their children suffer through the pain that has afflicted them. A person who is happy cannot comprehend the suffering of people around them. We see the world through ourselves. A happy person knows that it is possible to be happy and will tell the unhappy that they only have themselves to blame for being in that state. If the happy felt that it may be impossible for everyone to be happy, they no longer could be happy.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Kev's Inner Dialog
To let you know what my life is like, I give you a conversation with myself:
“It’s epic!”
“How is it epic? It’s only two paragraphs.”
“It’s epic in its scope!”
“It’s about toothpaste. How can a two paragraph essay about toothpaste be epic in any way?”
“Toothpaste is a very complex subject with much depth. This essay covers it all.”
“It’s about cleaning dirty teeth. If that’s epic, then I’m fucking Lawrence of Arabia, because I take part in this epic event every day, sometimes twice.”
“You don’t ever really brush your teeth twice a day, do you?”
“Well, I always brush them in the morning, and I’ll brush them in the evening if I’m going out or something.”
“Freak…”
“Because I brush my teeth more than once a day?”
“Yup”
“Well, I guess I can live with being a freak then. Point me to the chickens that need their heads bit off.”
“That’s a geek.”
“What?”
“A geek is the circus guy who bites the heads off the chickens. The freaks are the physically deformed ones in the tent that people pay to gawk at.”
“Ah, I miss the good old days of the traveling carnivals, when people could gawk at the deformities of others without getting a guilt trip.”
“You still can, you know.”
“No you can’t! Where would I go to gawk at people with deformities without getting dirty looks?”
“You’re mom doesn’t seem to mind when I gawk at her.”
“Ah, a mom joke. Well played.”
“She seems to like it, she’s a very lonely woman.”
“Ok, you’re fucking hilarious.”
“You should call her more often, and would it kill you to stop by every once in a while?”
“Let it go, it’s just not funny.”
“No, it isn’t. Her own son is too ashamed of his mother’s extreme hideousness to even come home for Mother’s Day…”
“All right, I’m leaving. Please feel free to continue your little shtick here while I’m gone.”
“Sure, walk away, just like you did after that horrible acid spill took half of your own mother’s face. You heartless bastard! …hey, where are you going?”
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Who Am I??
Gonna try something....here are the rules. The 3 clues refer to the same one person (hopefully). You have to justify your answer by relating it to each one of the clues (don't just guess randomly).
Who am I:
1.) I own a golden statue of a device patented by a Berliner
2.) Something I produced, was the inspiration for the title on a square album cover, but 5 edges are associated with said album.
3.) Jerry Orbach brought his baby to a setting in which I once worked.
Good Luck!
Remember, don't answer unless you have compelling support for all 3 clues!
Who am I:
1.) I own a golden statue of a device patented by a Berliner
2.) Something I produced, was the inspiration for the title on a square album cover, but 5 edges are associated with said album.
3.) Jerry Orbach brought his baby to a setting in which I once worked.
Good Luck!
Remember, don't answer unless you have compelling support for all 3 clues!
Poll errors
It has been bought to my attention that there are a few errors in the new poll. The first choice should read "The blue one with the beard". Also, I've been told that Tom Cruise is not a Smurf, but rather, a short Scientologist. The difference between the two is that a Smurf is a fictional cartoon character while a Scientologist worships fictional cartoon-like characters. I apologize for the confusion. Rock on, Xenu.
We've got polls!
Check out the new weekly poll on the front page of the blog and vote! Like a good weekly poll, I will be changing the polling question on a semi weekly basis. Maybe more monthly. Stop pressuring me! I'll change it when I damn well please to!
Monday, July 23, 2007
ARGH!!!!
I've been trying to watch the presidential debates this year, I really have. I'm trying to watch the Youtube/CNN debate tonight, I really am. And let me tell you, these aren't fucking debates!!!! It's just reading from a script, the questions don't even matter. Occasionally you get the crazy candidate who will never get elected call out one of the others, but any debate that could follow gets quickly squashed by the moderator. Let them debate! Screw having any kind of structure. Invite all the candidates to one place and let them go at it. Or maybe actually ask follow up questions when the candidate completely avoids answering the original. Politics are ridiculous in this country right now. There is no way to know what the people you are voting for actual think. When is DrX running for office?
Sunday, July 22, 2007
It's been a good first month
BFB is now officially one month old. This means we give out the prize for blogger of the month! It of course goes to Kevthegreat, since he posted about 40 more times than you other two combined. Take that! I'm the BFB Blogger of the Month! I'm putting that on my profile.
More Letters!
Hey, I actually got a real email! This was from an anonymous reader and says:
Q: Your gambling is hurting you and those who love you...
A: Well, that's not a question, and I'm not certain this wasn't spam, but it was sent to the official BFB advice email address, so I'll comment on it! First of all stating that something is hurting me and those who love me is rather repetitious, since they are one in the same. Second, I don't have a gambling problem. I still have 9 of my fingers, which is just as good as ten. Who needs the left pinkie anyways? Sure, sometimes I bet more money than I have and I have to flee for my life or kidnap and sell a child to make it up, but who doesn't? I like to think I'm contributing to this great economy of ours. I am so selfless that I contribute about 43 times more than I actually have. That makes me a super citizen. I once had George Washington call me and thank me for the contributions I have made to this great country through my irrational, obsessive gambling. Then he gave me a medal and let me ride his horse. That was a good day... So, to sum up, I'm all good, baby. You can bet on it! HAHAHAHAHA! Get it? "Bet on it"! We're talking about gambling and I ended it by saying "You can bet on it"! That's classic.
Send an email to Kevin today! He'll post and comment on anything! batterfriedbacon@yahoo.com
Q: Your gambling is hurting you and those who love you...
A: Well, that's not a question, and I'm not certain this wasn't spam, but it was sent to the official BFB advice email address, so I'll comment on it! First of all stating that something is hurting me and those who love me is rather repetitious, since they are one in the same. Second, I don't have a gambling problem. I still have 9 of my fingers, which is just as good as ten. Who needs the left pinkie anyways? Sure, sometimes I bet more money than I have and I have to flee for my life or kidnap and sell a child to make it up, but who doesn't? I like to think I'm contributing to this great economy of ours. I am so selfless that I contribute about 43 times more than I actually have. That makes me a super citizen. I once had George Washington call me and thank me for the contributions I have made to this great country through my irrational, obsessive gambling. Then he gave me a medal and let me ride his horse. That was a good day... So, to sum up, I'm all good, baby. You can bet on it! HAHAHAHAHA! Get it? "Bet on it"! We're talking about gambling and I ended it by saying "You can bet on it"! That's classic.
Send an email to Kevin today! He'll post and comment on anything! batterfriedbacon@yahoo.com
Saturday, July 21, 2007
We Get Letters!
Here is the first edition of letters to Kevin! This comes from Jimmy of Anchorage, Alaska:
Q: Is it true that you have been banned from wrestling bears because you are too rough for them?
A: Thanks for the email, Jimmy! This has been a rumor that has followed me around for quite some time. Unfortunately, that is all it is; a rumor. I have not been banned from wrestling bears. In fact I still do wrestle them to this day, although they are hard to find down here in North Carolina.
Like most rumors, though, there is a grain of truth in this one. You see, back in 1879, when I was a virile young man, I used to wrestle bears for money with a traveling circus. Whenever we first arrived at a new town, I would challenge the residents to find the biggest meanest grizzly they could. In one small town, just outside of Sacramento, there was a effort put in by my enemies to get the best of me. They gathered 8 of the biggest, meanest grizzlies they could find from all across the continent all at the same time. Now, I promised to fight any bears at any time since it was rare that anyone could find more than 1 that would be willing to tangle with me. The eight bears were a complete surprise to me, but I wasn't about to back down. Now, the only rule that we set was that I was to wrestle the bears one at a time, with a 5 minute rest between matches.
I climbed into the ring to face my first opponent. I decided to make an example of this first one, while I had all of my energy, to put the fear of God in the rest of those blood hungry beasts waiting by the ring for their chance to feast on my intestines (bears like intestines best). Well, I certainly made an example of my opponent, maybe a little too effectively. The crowd was so shocked and sickened by what I did to that creature that they all left, sickened to their very souls. The other bears all fled to the woods and my career was over.
See, I wasn't banned from wrestling bears, it's just that, once word spread, no bears would voluntarily get in the ring with me.
Send an email to Kevin today! He'll post and comment on anything! batterfriedbacon@yahoo.com
Q: Is it true that you have been banned from wrestling bears because you are too rough for them?
A: Thanks for the email, Jimmy! This has been a rumor that has followed me around for quite some time. Unfortunately, that is all it is; a rumor. I have not been banned from wrestling bears. In fact I still do wrestle them to this day, although they are hard to find down here in North Carolina.
Like most rumors, though, there is a grain of truth in this one. You see, back in 1879, when I was a virile young man, I used to wrestle bears for money with a traveling circus. Whenever we first arrived at a new town, I would challenge the residents to find the biggest meanest grizzly they could. In one small town, just outside of Sacramento, there was a effort put in by my enemies to get the best of me. They gathered 8 of the biggest, meanest grizzlies they could find from all across the continent all at the same time. Now, I promised to fight any bears at any time since it was rare that anyone could find more than 1 that would be willing to tangle with me. The eight bears were a complete surprise to me, but I wasn't about to back down. Now, the only rule that we set was that I was to wrestle the bears one at a time, with a 5 minute rest between matches.
I climbed into the ring to face my first opponent. I decided to make an example of this first one, while I had all of my energy, to put the fear of God in the rest of those blood hungry beasts waiting by the ring for their chance to feast on my intestines (bears like intestines best). Well, I certainly made an example of my opponent, maybe a little too effectively. The crowd was so shocked and sickened by what I did to that creature that they all left, sickened to their very souls. The other bears all fled to the woods and my career was over.
See, I wasn't banned from wrestling bears, it's just that, once word spread, no bears would voluntarily get in the ring with me.
Send an email to Kevin today! He'll post and comment on anything! batterfriedbacon@yahoo.com
Friday, July 20, 2007
I'm not selfish!
Since I have an incredible knowledge of everything, I feel it would be selfish of me not to put it to good use. That is why I created a special BFB email account so you kids can send me questions or ask for advice. I'll post my answers on this blog and we can all be happy! Yay! The address is: batterfriedbacon@yahoo.com
I'm smart! I'll help!
I'm smart! I'll help!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
If I were president...
I would make all dogs wear pants. Is that among the executive branch's privileges?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
If I were a bird....
This is what my posts would look like:
Tweet, tweet, tweet. Chirp. I like worms. Tweet.
So it's a good thing I'm not a bird, because that's a really boring post.
Tweet, tweet, tweet. Chirp. I like worms. Tweet.
So it's a good thing I'm not a bird, because that's a really boring post.
A Fake Interview
As a Batter Fried Bacon exclusive I give you my first ever blog interview with the made up person, Frank Yittles. This interview took place over a series of nonexistent emails not made over a period of three days. Enjoy!
Kev: Good afternoon Frank. Let's start off with you telling all the regular BFB readers a little about yourself.
Frank: Well, my name is Frank Yittles, and I am a Chief Assurance Executive for a rather large transportation company.
Kev: Very good. Now tell me, why do you hate America?
Frank: I'm sorry, I don't understand the question. I don't hate America, I love it here. I am a rich white man, why would I hate this country?
Kev: Tell me about the charges of bestiality that have been leveled against you by PETA.
Frank: Are you kidding me? I've never been accused of bestiality by anyone. Are you sure you have the right guy?
Kev: If you're so innocent, then you won't have a problem telling me where you were last Thursday at 4PM.
Frank: I was at work, just like every other weekday at 4PM. In fact I was in a meeting with 12 other people.
Kev: Then how do you explain this photo of you, taken at exactly 4:03PM on Thursday:
Frank: First of all, that's a drawing, not a photo. Second, I'm not a giant cartoon Ape. Where are you going with this?
Kev: Is that, or is it not, your hat on that Ape?
Frank: It's a cartoon. I don't own any cartoon hats. So, no, it's not my hat.
Kev: I rest my case.
Tune in for part II of this interview at a future time!
Kev: Good afternoon Frank. Let's start off with you telling all the regular BFB readers a little about yourself.
Frank: Well, my name is Frank Yittles, and I am a Chief Assurance Executive for a rather large transportation company.
Kev: Very good. Now tell me, why do you hate America?
Frank: I'm sorry, I don't understand the question. I don't hate America, I love it here. I am a rich white man, why would I hate this country?
Kev: Tell me about the charges of bestiality that have been leveled against you by PETA.
Frank: Are you kidding me? I've never been accused of bestiality by anyone. Are you sure you have the right guy?
Kev: If you're so innocent, then you won't have a problem telling me where you were last Thursday at 4PM.
Frank: I was at work, just like every other weekday at 4PM. In fact I was in a meeting with 12 other people.
Kev: Then how do you explain this photo of you, taken at exactly 4:03PM on Thursday:
Frank: First of all, that's a drawing, not a photo. Second, I'm not a giant cartoon Ape. Where are you going with this?Kev: Is that, or is it not, your hat on that Ape?
Frank: It's a cartoon. I don't own any cartoon hats. So, no, it's not my hat.
Kev: I rest my case.
Tune in for part II of this interview at a future time!
"Random Thought" for the day....
I hope no one I know ever moves to Wilmington, Delaware. I will never read any letters from them.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
My fetus is lazy
4 days past due, and she still doesn't want to come out. So, we go to the hospital tomorrow morning for the inducement. BFB will be the blog exclusively covering the birth of Mia Welsh Udwary.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Hangin' in the 518
It's the last day of work before a 4 day weekend in Albany. I haven't got anything at all done today at work. An untrained chimp would make a better worker than I have. Of course the monkey would probably bite people, throw feces and spread some crazy virus that kills off 80% of the population of North Carolina, so maybe it's better I didn't find a monkey to replace me today. Anyways, the day is about over. Just two hours to go...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Movie clip time!
For the past couple months I have been on a bit of a Charlie Chaplin kick. Turner Classic Movies (maybe the best channel ever) has been showing a lot of them lately, and now that I have a DVR I can record them and watch them at leisure. Anyways, tonight I watched A Dog's Life, which was so great that I decided to post a clip of one of the best parts:
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
While we're ranting...
When did it become custom to sing God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch of baseball games? Are people afraid that if there isn't a show of patriotism or a public affirmation of god for a whole baseball game, everyone in the stadium will turn communist by the end of the 9th inning? Honestly, I don't even understand why the national anthem is sung at the beginning of every sporting event in this country. Is this done around the world? Do European soccer games have their national anthems played at the beginning of matches? It's just odd to me. Mind you, I have nothing against the national anthem, after all, it is sung to the tune of a British drinking song. But I do find God Bless America to be a lame song that should be buried forever. That's my rant for the night.
4 to 1
Ok, a quick rant. What the hell is Direct TV talking about when they say they beat cable quality 4 to 1. It's on that stupid Pam Anderson Baywatch spoof commercial that they did. 4 to 1 what??? 4 to 1 more "genius" commercials made? 4 to 1 evil monkeys shown??? WTF? Watch it sometime and pay attention to the words (not the boobs), and you'll see.
I Heart Zombies
I want to test posting video on here, so here it goes. Here's proof that zombies can make any movie (or at least the trailer) better:
No they aren't
There's actually no Zombie Hitler in AoD vs MZ. All the covers of the Marvel Zombies books are zombified parodies of famous classic comic covers. That's a straight riff on Captain America #1. See original here. They have a page about all the zombified covers here. The Hostess Pie parody there is also pretty funny. "I can taste their tears!"
Monday, July 9, 2007
Marvel stealing our ideas?
I knew I should have copy written Zombie Hitler! I'm not sure if that's possible, but if it is, then I should have. Here's the cover to Marvel Zombies Vs. Army of Darkness No.1:
Well, at least they have a zombie Captain America beating up Zombie Hitler, and not Jesus. That's right, I started writing a comic about Jesus battling Zombie Hitler and his zombie minions. Now it's in writing in public domain, so if you steal that idea I can sue you or something. Is that how it works? By the way, I thought DrX was bullshitting me when he said they were coming out with a new series of Marvel Zombie comics with Ash from Army of Darkness in them. I have to get these comics...
Well, at least they have a zombie Captain America beating up Zombie Hitler, and not Jesus. That's right, I started writing a comic about Jesus battling Zombie Hitler and his zombie minions. Now it's in writing in public domain, so if you steal that idea I can sue you or something. Is that how it works? By the way, I thought DrX was bullshitting me when he said they were coming out with a new series of Marvel Zombie comics with Ash from Army of Darkness in them. I have to get these comics...
You guys are boring
Nothing must be happening in the life of phishbone or DrX, because I seem to be the only one posting. And when I post it's just bitching about Michael Bay. One of you must save the blog! Get me on a different subject! Nobody really wants to read about how much I hate a director that nobody really likes. DrX, am I an uncle yet? Everything going ok there? Fish, what do you want to do on Sunday? Do you have the whole day free?
Saturday, July 7, 2007
I can't stop!!!!!
Why do I do this to myself? I went over to Michael Bay's news blog and started reading. On it they have this interview of The Bay with Entertainment Weekly. It really isn't anything you wouldn't expect, but there are a couple choice quotes I thought I'd post here. First, he's talking about making all of the Autobots turn into GM vehicles:
I would say the definition of whoring out a movie is to change rather major things to gain money from corporate sponsors, but what do I know? Then there is this quote about his next movie:
You know a director has no originality and creativity when he himself describes his movies by comparing it to other, better movies. But, you know, after reading something like this, I'm actually less pissed at The Bay. He's not purposely manipulating the public by creating dumbed down, lame, unoriginal films that only build on the sucess of previous films he's copying. He really is just a no talent hack. And you know what? He isn't a bad director, in that he is able to direct the making of these god awful films. There is something to be said for being able to make a huge budget film without going way over budget and in a acceptable amount of time. The guy must have great organizational skills. He should just never write a script, ever, or be allowed to make any creative changes to anything. He is not a creative person. He's most definitely not an artist, he's a manager. That is my current view of The Bay.
I've had a relationship with GM, so they took me to where they do these cool concept cars. I saw this picture of that Camaro [used in the film], and I'm like, That's the car. It saved me $3 million on my budget, getting all those cars. I don't think you are whoring out the movie, because I think each car kind of fits the character. Maybe not Jazz [the Autobot that's a Pontiac Solstice in the film]. Jazz is the one thing which I was like, ehhh, I wish he was a different car, personally. It's too little. But that's why I did it. It saved me money.
I would say the definition of whoring out a movie is to change rather major things to gain money from corporate sponsors, but what do I know? Then there is this quote about his next movie:
Pain and Gain. It's a true story, happened in Florida. Just love the characters. It's these guys who work at a gym, and nothing's good enough. They're all looking for the American Dream, and they end up kidnapping. It's like a mixture of Fargo and Pulp Fiction, but it's all true.
You know a director has no originality and creativity when he himself describes his movies by comparing it to other, better movies. But, you know, after reading something like this, I'm actually less pissed at The Bay. He's not purposely manipulating the public by creating dumbed down, lame, unoriginal films that only build on the sucess of previous films he's copying. He really is just a no talent hack. And you know what? He isn't a bad director, in that he is able to direct the making of these god awful films. There is something to be said for being able to make a huge budget film without going way over budget and in a acceptable amount of time. The guy must have great organizational skills. He should just never write a script, ever, or be allowed to make any creative changes to anything. He is not a creative person. He's most definitely not an artist, he's a manager. That is my current view of The Bay.
Friday, July 6, 2007
By the way
We have had a surge in visitors since yesterday thanks to a link put up in a post on the Giants 101 site to a post I made last week about The Moron of the Day. The source of my ire was a good sport and I highly recommend the site if you are a Giants fan. Also, there are some new comments on the Moron of the Day post that are becoming a little amusing. You learn new things every day, like that there are PC Nazis out there and they have gotten the best of me.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Controversy from Mr. Bay!
Ah, Michael Bay, a day cannot go by without you finding a way into my thoughts! It seems Mr. Bay posted a message on his blog complaining that two of the producers of Transformers were taking credit for the movie and attempted to gain writer credits despite having nothing to do with the script. You can read a summary in IMDB's blog here. If I were Michael Bay I would give out the writing credits of any of his movies to whoever would take them and distance myself as far as possible from the shit that is spewed into those scripts. On a side note, I'm actually a little surprised that there are actually scripts for his movies. They have the plot of a ten year olds home movie filmed on a VHS recorder. I should know, I was one of those ten year olds, and at that age I'm pretty sure I made a movie or two more watchable than Pearl Harbor. Let's hear it for Stevebo!
The Non-porn Black Holes
I told Fish I would post a link to this article. For a good description without getting too technical check out the Bad Astronomy blog post, here. Now I'm going to try to explain it in even simpler terms, and probably screw it up completely.
So, you probably know that a black hole is made when an extremely massive star collapses in on itself all the way down to a single point of extremely high gravity. The gravity of a black hole is so high that when you get a certain distance from it not even light can escape. This distance is called the event horizon.
OK, still with me? Now we get to the good stuff. Einstein theorized, and observations have begun to show, that as gravity increases, the flow of time slows down. This means an observer looking at the formation of a black hole from the outside would see a star begin to collapse, and then slow down in it's rate as the gravity increases. As the gravity of the black hole approaches infinity, then the flow of time approaches zero, so technically from the frame of reference outside the black hole it would take an infinite amount of time to form a perfect black hole (a point of infinite mass).
Now, we also know that black holes leak out mass, a process called Hawking Radiation, and eventually evaporate (in just a few billion years). The thing is, the Hawking Radiation isn't really affected by the time dilation of the enormous gravity. This means that the black hole will evaporate before ever forming an event horizon. It will approach it, however it would take an infinite amount of time to actually get there and it's lifetime is finite. So to sum up, in theory light cannot escape the gravitational pull of a black hole, but in practice black holes may never be able to reach that point since they have a limited lifetime. Neat stuff!
So, you probably know that a black hole is made when an extremely massive star collapses in on itself all the way down to a single point of extremely high gravity. The gravity of a black hole is so high that when you get a certain distance from it not even light can escape. This distance is called the event horizon.
OK, still with me? Now we get to the good stuff. Einstein theorized, and observations have begun to show, that as gravity increases, the flow of time slows down. This means an observer looking at the formation of a black hole from the outside would see a star begin to collapse, and then slow down in it's rate as the gravity increases. As the gravity of the black hole approaches infinity, then the flow of time approaches zero, so technically from the frame of reference outside the black hole it would take an infinite amount of time to form a perfect black hole (a point of infinite mass).
Now, we also know that black holes leak out mass, a process called Hawking Radiation, and eventually evaporate (in just a few billion years). The thing is, the Hawking Radiation isn't really affected by the time dilation of the enormous gravity. This means that the black hole will evaporate before ever forming an event horizon. It will approach it, however it would take an infinite amount of time to actually get there and it's lifetime is finite. So to sum up, in theory light cannot escape the gravitational pull of a black hole, but in practice black holes may never be able to reach that point since they have a limited lifetime. Neat stuff!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Happy Birthday to kevthegreat
As of 7/3/2007 2:15:27 PM EDT
You are 28 years old.
You are 336 months old.
You are 1,461 weeks old.
You are 10,227 days old.
You are 245,462 hours old.
You are 14,727,735 minutes old.
You are 883,664,127 seconds old.
Celebrities who share your birthday:
Tom Cruise (1962)
Montel Williams (1956)
Alan Autry (1952)
Tom Stoppard (1937)
Ken Russell (1927)
Franz Kafka (1883)
George M. Cohan (1878)
Top songs of 1979
My Sharona by The Knack
Bad Girls by Donna Summer
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? by Rod Stewart
Reunited by Peaches & Herb
Hot Stuff by Donna Summer
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes
Ring My Bell by Anita Ward
Babe by Styx
Too Much Heaven by Bee Gees
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.0027397260274 years old.
You are 28 years old.
You are 336 months old.
You are 1,461 weeks old.
You are 10,227 days old.
You are 245,462 hours old.
You are 14,727,735 minutes old.
You are 883,664,127 seconds old.
Celebrities who share your birthday:
Tom Cruise (1962)
Montel Williams (1956)
Alan Autry (1952)
Tom Stoppard (1937)
Ken Russell (1927)
Franz Kafka (1883)
George M. Cohan (1878)
Top songs of 1979
My Sharona by The Knack
Bad Girls by Donna Summer
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? by Rod Stewart
Reunited by Peaches & Herb
Hot Stuff by Donna Summer
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes
Ring My Bell by Anita Ward
Babe by Styx
Too Much Heaven by Bee Gees
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.0027397260274 years old.
It's midnight!
Which means it's officially my birthday! Well, on the East Coast, at least, but what other time zone really matters? Anyways, everyone feel free to praise me in the comments.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
I just realized...
...every preview of the Transformers movie I have seen looks worse than the previous. I hate you Michael Bay. You shit on my childhood, you fucking prick.
The great ponderous question
What is the best way to break up with someone? Is it honesty? Is it the "it's not you, it's me" route? Is it faking your own death and moving to Mexico? Is it making a post on your blog and hoping they stumble across it? It is the question of the ages...
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